Ship Happens
by Cate-Deriana
Summary: Ichigo accidently 'confesses' to his friends, that he and Rukia are dating. But... they're not - yet. For some reasons both decide to play along and try to act as if really being in a relationship. They end up pretending feelings they secretly always had, but were never able to voice, causing their deep connection to suffer.
1. I think we've got a problem

So everything had started with this single sentence.

"I think we've got a problem."

Rukia looked up from _his_ laptop, where she'd probably been surfing through some of those questionable fan forums again. Her expression said it all. She was pissed. Pissed, because she'd been prevented from doing 'serious business' and pissed about– he internally quoted her here – 'what he'd messed up this time'. He swallowed, subconsciously rubbing his chin.

"Perhaps I told some of our friends we were dating."

The seconds passed. For a tiny little moment he found himself wondering if he'd really said it or had just been talking to himself. She smashed his laptop shut, jumping to her feet. "You told them we were dating?!" Ichigo cleared his throat, raising his index finger to correct her: "I said perhaps I…" "Why do you always have to mess things up like that?" And there you had it. Hearing her say this line in reality was a lot scarier than just imagining it. He should have just kept that to himself. She exhaled vociferously.

"So, who was it?"

Her voice sounded way deeper than usually, intimidating. "Ishida." She seemed to calm down a little. "Well it shouldn't be too difficult explaining the matter to him." "Among others." the high school student mumbled to himself. She raised an eyebrow till it almost reached her hairline – kind of scary, wasn't it? He gave it another try: "Perhaps…" "ICHIGO!?" He bit his lip – her tone was far from comfortable, but he continued with his confession: "Well, there were some others, like Chad, Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Inoue and… so on." "And so on, huh?" Did she never stop to pose those accusing questions? "Maybe a few other students were listening in on that - apparently I was talking quite loud." Ichigo decided to go on to prohibit her from objecting to his answers again. "I rather… kind of… blurted that out." Rukia prepared herself to counterstrike. "Just to make myself clear – I was acting in self-defense, ok?" He should have known that this statement wasn't going to rescue him – damn it. "Well of course, and that's the reason you will go immediately and tell them all, that it was a complete misunderstanding, got that?!" Her idea seemed flawless, too good to be true, cause there was something she didn't know yet. "I had figured that out already, but… I received a mail from Byakuya earlier." "Oh? Does he want to kill you? Text him to come here, I don't wanna miss that!" He had to dampen her cynical remark and fetched the cell phone from his pocket to show her the message. "That's not quite what he wrote."

 _'Kurosaki Ichigo, right in this moment I got informed you are rumored to be in a secret, romantic relationship with my sister for a long time now. During our last encounter I still believed in a common misunderstanding. However with the recent news it seems to me that your feelings were honest. Indisputably you feared I would never approve your connection and instead would cover you in a sea of blood-thirsty cherry petals, which is the sole reason you always avoided to instruct me about all of this. Your true motive tough was without a doubt based on your selfless aim to protect my sisters from losing a beloved human in the cruelest way. Although it is far from comfortable for me, I owe you my admiration for this sacrificing act._

 _P.S. If you ever make her suffer though, I will tear you to pieces.'_

Rukia determinedly went for the door: "Alright, then I'll just tell him you broke up with me." Her cell phone beeped introducing a tensed silence. He really had thought Byakuya's message would have triggered different feelings within her. Maybe he should have deleted the P.S.-part…

"Damn it!"

Her cursing brought him back to reality. "What's up?" he asked cautiously, preparing himself to escape this situation as fast as possible if necessary. She turned to him again: "Alright, so how do you intend to stage our relationship convincingly?"

Rukias cell phone was lying on the ground, kind of helpless. The message, she'd just received was still opened.

 _'Rukia, I suppose you are reaching adulthood now. I am honestly proud of you.'_


	2. We're a couple now, so I'm sleeping here

"Hey Ichigo, your girlfriend is here."

As usual during lunch break, everyone was sitting casually on the school's rooftop. "Who?" There was a certain disinterest in his voice. He took a sip from his water bottle when Tatsuki suddenly cleared her throat and brought him back from his daydreaming. She nodded towards the door. His glance followed her movement. Oh. He took a deep breath, internally going through their script one last time. "Kuchiki-san, great to see you here! Come on, take a seat! What did you bring there?" Orihime sounded cheerful as ever. Keigo was peeking at the bag Rukia had laid down in front of her, after she'd joined the students. "I'm sure there's a bento for Ichigo inside, right? Made with loooots of LOOOO-VE!" He honestly had to fight the urge to beat the crap out of Keigo, but he had to stick to their script. Damn it! Therefore he just decided to pick up that idiot's remark: "Yeah Rukia, where is my bento?" Hidden by his glasses, Ishida's eyes flashed alarmingly in light of this chauvinistic behavior. A shiver ran down Ichigo's spine. He slightly observed the Quincy from a corner of his eye – what a creepy feeling…

Rukia's aura had darkened as well. "I didn't bring one for you." She looked up from the bag she'd brought unpacking some other snacks and sweets. She smiled but her voice would have surely triggered even the cookies to make a run for it, if they had been able to. "However, if I had brought one I'd like to shove it down your throat." It was scary how calm she'd stayed while voicing that. Keigo hadn't noticed the rise in reiatsu at all: "There you see it guys. True Love!"

Ishida adjusted his glasses: "Well, I'm glad you two seem to still be your usual selves." Everyone in the group just blinked silently. The situation however had apparently been prevented from escalating any further – for the time being. Kurosaki hadn't punched Asano-kun in the face, Rukia had cooled down as well and the death threat like atmosphere had vanished into the air. Ichigo scratched the back of his head, a misplaced smile plastered on his face: "Yeah, why should it be any different with you all knowing." "That had been a real surprise yesterday!" Orihime raised her index finger meaningfully. "But don't worry, nobody has said a word to anyone." She turned to each of her friends who had been filled in on Ichigo's and Rukia's relationship, glancing at them insistently: "Right?"

The remaining break time went by quietly. The pair had avoided to exchange any words until everyone settled to prepare returning to their respective classes. "Go on ahead, I'll be right there." Sado nodded silently to his friend and waved a knowing expression. He closed up to the rest of the group, leaving Ichigo and Rukia alone on the rooftop.

The door closed.

"What's wrong with you!? Did you really have to say that?!" "That's my line, idiot! You were the one who didn't follow the script!" Rukia glared at him furiously. "I wanted to stick to it, but Keigo had to…!" She observed him with knitted brows. "Oh, I see. So you're blaming everything on Asano, right? Kurosaki Ichigo isn't the one to blame here, because his friend forced him to make a patronizing remark to his girlfriend. Congratulations, you dodged that perfectly, your highness Mr. Baron." Ichigo paused for a moment. He hadn't heard that in a long time. She'd called him that just one single time – the day they had first met.

"You're an annoying little brat, you know?"

Rukia paused likewise. It remained silent for an instant.

"Never call me that again!"

"Same here!"

The door to the stairs opened again. Ochi-sensei found herself in front of a questionable scenery: "Oh, I know what's going on here." A penetrating glance was shot at Ichigo: "Kurosaki! Inside! Now! Class has already started!" She turned to Rukia, bending forward slightly. She tried to whisper but Ichigo could hear every single word very damn well: "I'm inaugurated. As far as I'm concerned you two are free to do whatever you want up here… but not during class, ok?"

* * *

"Great! Now even my teacher believes we're dating."

The high school student was restlessly wandering through his room. "That's exactly what she is supposed to believe, did you forget that?" Rukia was sitting on his bed arms folded –she really didn't know why the orange haired substitute Shinigami was making such a fuss. He stopped in front of her and watched her emphatically: "Yeah, but we _are_ not dating." She tilted her head to one side: "You should get rid of that thought, if you want to keep this charade going." The black haired Shinigami averted her gaze somewhat annoyed, her theatrical behavior slightly over the top: "Or else it'll end just like today's lunch break." Ichigo rolled his eyes. Not this again.

"Still sulking?" He had sincerely tried to sound as if he cared about her – how he liked to put it more accurately – exaggerated sensitivity, but the irony had kind of slipped accidently. She turned over again, eyeing him skeptically: "I'm not sulking. At least it's not _my_ amateurish acting skills that have to be blamed for having let the situation escalate." He was holding his breath for a few seconds only to release all the air at once together with a flooded outrage. "What?!" Ichigo lifted a hand in defense. "Hold on, I had just followed the plan!" "Then how about next time you followed the plan a bit less disrespectful to your girlfriend and quit pretending I didn't have a say in our relationship?"

~No, actually it's vice versa.~ That was the first and sort of only thought that came to his mind. However he figured it would be strategically wiser to join forces with Rukia here – he was responsible for their state after all. He chewed on his lower lip pressing an agonized "Fine." "Good! Now that that's settled, let's go to sleep!" She jumped off his bed and disappeared through the door. Ichigo shook his head rather exhausted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He had just opened the door to his room again after getting himself a glass of water downstairs. He didn't like the sight that was being offered to him: Rukia had arranged herself comfortably in _his_ bed during his absence. "I'm sleeping here, of course." The implicitness in her voice caused nearly every vein on his forehead to throb. He clenched his fist convulsively: "No, you're not! That's _my_ bed!" Ichigo smashed the door with one foot, headed for his sacred sleeping area and set himself up in front of her determinedly. "Get out!" Rukia waved him a mischievous smile: "We are a couple now, so I'm sleeping here." Her voice was resolute, but he wouldn't give in this time. "I don't care – OUT" The triumphant expression on her face indicated she wouldn't let him have his way. It also indicated she'd use every means of pressure if necessary. "Your family will become suspicious if they find out I'm still sleeping in your closet." Ichigo turned and opened said closet. Rukia knowingly raised an eyebrow. There he was again: The young, innocent teenager. Her glance was somewhat between teasing and the look you'd give to a puppy. "Oh, don't tell me you want to sleep in there only to…" Ichigo had smashed a pillow in her face. "What…?" "If you have to sleep in my bed at least use your own pillow! This here…" He pointed at his own fluffy bedclothes. "…is mine. Got that?" He went back to the closet, fetched some sheets and threw them to her as well. "Same goes for the sheets!"


	3. Objectively speaking

**So, I finally managed to translate the next chapter. As someone who's not a native speaker that's really tough sometimes, please bear with me and feel free to tell me if you spot mistakes - I really want to improve. From now on sometimes I'll insert passages that are set in the future (a week ahead) - they'll always be posted in italics.**

 **A huge thanks to everyone who has favourited, commented or followed this story so far - I'm really so so happy about that! ^/^**

* * *

 _One week had passed, since – well – nearly everything had changed. Every time, on every occasion there had been this mutual, underlying, tensed mood floating the air: When they both had been alone, when someone else had been present and when they had been together with someone else being present – hell especially then. Some of their friends had noticed their change of heart, but none of them had dared to ask them yet. He had to put an end to this. Something had gone completely wrong and he was more than willing to find out what._

 _"_ _You seem rather stressed out lately, Kurosaki."_

 _Looking over the edge of his glasses Ishida was facing his part-time opponent, who was absent-mindedly maneuvering lunch to his mouth like a robot. Ichigo looked up, a flawless – if you wanted to call it that – fake smile attached to his face: "Everything's just perfect!" The Quincy blinked confusedly: "Uhm, well that's… good but… Did you just listen? I've said 'you seem rather stressed out'." "I'm not stressed out, I'm in a happy relationship." His reaction had been somewhat impudent, tensed but had sounded a little bored as well. Ishida's expression was a mixture of pity and dismay: "Just forget it." The black haired young man could only shake his head – something was completely wrong – he repeated internally. At that Kojima-san tried to change the focus in order to lighten the mood: "Say, Ichigo…" The Substitute Shinigami jumped to his feet, infuriated: "Isn't there any other topic you'd like to talk about?! Everything is always solely revolving around me and…!" He stopped midway, muttered something only he could hear and rushed to the stairs. Mizuiro was turning to Ishida, searching for help: "I didn't say anything yet…" Again the Quincy just shook his head, while a pondering 'Mmh' could he heard to his right. Sado had been having a vague idea about what had been going on for quite a while now, but he wouldn't say anything – yet._

 _The girls were having their lunch elsewhere on the school ground, sitting beside a tree when they witnessed an orange-haired high-school student rushing by in the back. "Did you guys just see that?" Tatsuki's eyes followed the dust the teenager had caused to raise in his anger. "Sure, sure! That was Kurosaki-kun, obviously!" Orihime formed the shape of a 'V' with her index fingers right above her eyebrows: "And that's the face he made! I haven't seen him that annoyed in a long time!" She paused for a moment only to start musing again happily: "But, you know, it looks sooo funny when he's frowning like that!" Her dark haired friend wielded an arm around her, putting her in kind of a stranglehold and pushed her a little to the side to caress Orihime's head, smirking: "Exactly! Cause this carefree little girl has a hu-ge crush on Ichigo, right?" "Tha- that's not true, Tatsuki-chan! It's not that I… It's just…" The girl had blushed a little freeing herself from Tatsuki's grip. "Really? I didn't know that, Inoue-san." Rukia finally interfered in the newly established subject and moved closer: "Well, if you're really serious about that you have to tell him! I mean – it's Ichigo we're talking about – no way he'd notice by himself how you're feeling about him. So you'll definitely have to tell him!" "Uhm, well… I…" began Orihime. She had no idea how to respond to that so she kinda continued to blabber rather to herself: "But, you know… you… and… the two of you… you're… together, right? So… I cannot… do that." Rukia held her breath for a split second, blinking: "Oh, you're right." A moment of uncomfortable silence had passed when the raven haired Shinigami gave it another try. "But – if we should ever break up someday, you certainly have to tell him!"_

* * *

It was Saturday morning. He honestly was surprised he had slept rather peacefully, not waking up on the floor or something like that. Ichigo peeked at his alarm clock on the left: 10.30 in the morning.

"So you're finally awake, huh?"

He turned to the other side to find Rukia completely relaxed sitting on his bed reading one of those shôjo-manga. Frowning deeply he couldn't erase the slightly creepy feels he got by looking at the scenery. "So… how long have you been sitting there?" "Not sure, an hour maybe." She kept reading nonchalantly, not paying much attention to him. "Who are you?! A stalker?! Is there nothing else you could have done apart from waiting for me to wake up?!" He really didn't know how to handle that situation. Everything had been weird enough already when she had insisted to sleep in his bed yesterday, but this… was a bit scary? Rukia closed the manga with a snap and faced him considerably annoyed: "Nothing else I could have done, you say? I already had breakfast with your family for what felt like hours and because you were still sleeping when I came back here I decided to read the manga I borrowed from Yuzu to kill some time."

Ok, _this_ was even scarier! Why didn't he notice? He shook his head getting up – he really didn't want to waste his thoughts on that at the moment.

"Oh, by the way: Your dad had been extraordinarily curious to know who had made the first move in our relationship." Rukia had again tended to her manga stating this 'fact' rather parenthetically. Meanwhile Ichigo had regained his composure somehow, fishing some clothes out of his closet when her remark hit a certain spot in his heart – namely his pride. He turned flashing a confident glance with the slight indication of a cocky smile: "And of course you said that _I_ did." She raised an eyebrow in amusement putting her book away. Honestly, she could only smile at his attitude. There was an underlying childishness in his words she thought but the way he'd always try to hide his immaturity and insecurities with a slightly over the top self-assurance was kind of cute she had to admit.

"Of course not! Nobody would have believed me!"

"What's that supposed to mean?! I could have easily made the first move here, just as well as you! What's the point?!"

Her gaze gave away a hint of pity: "Oh, come on Ichigo! We both know you'd never make the first move!" Did he just sense a tiny grain of disappointment? No… no, nonsense, he was simply hearing things.

She was certain his ego had received a few cracks, but the emerging silence on his side was evidence enough for her to count it as some sort of acceptance. Probably Ichigo indeed knew very well that… oh! There was the chance to proof her point! Ichigo was taking off his pajama shirt not in the slightest aware that he was being intensively surveyed from the side until Rukia couldn't hold back her provoking remark anymore: "Considering your outer appearance you have quite matured." "Uowh, why are you staring at me like that?!" Some minor shades of red could be seen on his face. Rukia smiled triumphantly: "And exactly that's the reason you'd never be the one to be proactive in the first place." She leaned on his pillow with a piercing glance: "What's your problem? It's not the first time I've seen you shirtless, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with me stating that – objectively speaking – I find this sight fairly attractive."

He just blinked at her without saying a word, his expression lost somewhere between shame, nervousness and insecurity. Rukia kept a straight face. Her whole composure seemed unaffected, but her eyes were locked with his as if she was searching for something in particular, something she was hoping to find. It felt as if she could look right into his soul, trying to figure him out to understand what was on his mind. His mouth was half opened, but there were still no words passing it. Rukia sighed deeply, sitting up, breaking the awkward silence of their staring-contest, which obviously wouldn't lead them anywhere.

"Breath, Ichigo. Just breath." She rolled her eyes, her voice scolding. The sound of him inhaling some air again relieved her, she had to admit. However…

Ichigo looked around, a bit puzzled, as if her command had called him back from a place far, far away from reality. Did he really hold his breath? And if so – had it really been that evident? His thoughts were still revolving around her unforeseen statement. Did she just want to tease him? Or manipulate him? Or…? He paused when Rukia stamped her feet to the ground only to cross her arms over her chest and look at him in as serious manner.

However…

She wasn't done yet. She had purposely and out of decency waited for him to calm down a bit, so that he would be able to communicate something useful again except for just exhaling hot air. "Objectively speaking, Ichigo, what do you take me for?" His response was prompt: "Right now you're someone who's really confusing me." Rukia closed her eyes; she was tensed and a bit sour. She could hear he was being honest and in some way she could as well understand him but… "I've said 'objectively speaking'! You know exactly what I'm aiming at so just answer the damn question!"

She was mad at him, emphatically, as if he was dumb. He could feel she was being serious, but… He looked to the side facing the floor and then he said the first thing that came to his mind – in retrospect he would admit that it had actually been the second thing. "Che, how am I supposed to know that if you're always borrowing my sister's clothes?" Ichigo bit his lip. Maybe he shouldn't have voiced that out aloud. He drew a sharp breath preparing to be attacked not only verbally but physically and cautiously looked her way. The Shinigami substitute stopped short – was it insight reflected in her expression?

"You're right."

He was right? Yeah of course! He was right!

"We should go shopping!" Ichigo nodded absentmindedly, still flashed by her sudden change of mind. "Yeah, righty we should go shop… Wait! What?!" Her face was covered in a huge smile. For the orange haired teenager it felt like a déjà vu. "You should really buy your girlfriend some nice clothes, don't you think?" He frowned. He knew damn well that this had not been a question. Basically he didn't have a choice because he knew she was well aware that he was never able to refuse one of her requests.


	4. Pay more attention to her feelings

**That took a really loooong time again - I'm sorry. But here it is: Some shopping time with Ishida^^ Enjoy!**

* * *

"Kuchiki-san, what about trying this one next? I'm sure you will look stunning."

Ishida was readjusting his glasses in the usual manner, looking back over one of his shoulders just like the gentleman he was, while handing Rukia another matching outfit to her changing room. Ichigo let out a pejorative groan. It felt as if it had been hours spending here. He took a quick look at his watch – twenty minutes? What kind of joke was that? The teenager had been sprawling in a quite comfortable – he had to admit that – red armchair with a view to said changing room since their arrival. His legs were casually placed on one of the armrests while browsing some motorcycle magazines. He had evaluated internally that this kind of lecture would serve the purpose of upholding his preciously built image at least in a halfway satisfactory way – not that he was really keen on that subject at the moment.

The Quincy flashed him a dark glare – after all he was facing Ichigo rather directly due to his position in front of the curtain.

"You should really pay a little more attention to your girlfriend, don't you think?"

Ichigo paused his superficial reading and eyed Ishida annoyed as usual: "I take a look every time she leaves this damn thing, so what's your problem?"

He only ever pretended to actually care about any of this and his comments had been more hypocritical than flattering – a fact that didn't escape the archer's notice, of course. The moment he had opened his mouth to retort something to the orange head's indifferent remark a shop assistant interrupted his thoughts:

"Would you like anything to drink while you're waiting?"

"Coffee. Black. If you have."

The black haired teenagers' eyes switched from the assistant back to Ichigo. His expression delivered plain dismay for this wannabe delinquent's rude behavior. He didn't even look up when he had ordered his beverage without any honorific or respectful intent. The employee just smiled awkwardly, a little embarrassed – she had actually addressed the mindful, neatly dressed young man who would care for his girlfriend so sweetly when carrying new clothes for her to the dressing room. Having her own version of the story in mind she left the young couple and their companion who had a little too much of a punk attitude for her taste.

"Honestly, Kurosaki. If I didn't know you I would never believe that you're in a relationship with Kuchiki-san. I know quite well how you would normally react, so I figure you must be telling the truth this time." Although it seemed as if Ishida had gained a remarkable insight into the nature of his friend's mind there was a disappointed look to his expression: "I mean, we all know: Normally you would have made a misplaced or insolent comment to tease her somehow long ago, but you didn't. Therefore something must have changed between you obviously." He pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Your relationship is not of my concern but if you truly love her you should pay more attention to her feelings." A corner of Ichigo's mouth twitched. Ishida's quasi lecture had scratched his pride on its surface quite a bit so he refrained from protesting this one single time. He did have some objections in mind though but subconsciously he was merely trying to maintain a small part of his self-deception."Yet she looks happy, doesn't she?" He pointed in Rukia's direction who just exited the changing room with a bright smile but his eyes still rested on Ishida. Ichigo waited for the Quincy's reaction to his irrefutable reasoning until a sharp object hit his head. He rubbed his temple indignantly automatically shifting his focus to Rukia – from whom this dangerous flying item had definitely been coming from.

"Are you damn crazy?! That hurt! The hell is wrong!?"

"Oh, you're finally interested in my presence?!" she shot back, her smile completely replaced by an incomprehensive stare.

With one hand still rubbing his head he began searching the armchair's closer surroundings for whatever had been tossed around so carelessly. He leaned over one armchair fishing a dark red shoe off the ground and examined the heel height with a raised eyebrow while turning back to her. "You're wearing that?" She mimicked his facial expression, raising her eyebrow in return: "Why do you ask? Got a problem with me reaching your shoulders?" "Why should I care if you're still way shorter than me?" he retorted without thinking. He sighed inwardly. His urge to state things that better remained unsaid was a pain sometimes. He had got carried away again evidently.

If he had overdone it or not, the atmosphere suddenly tightened. "Are you making fun of my heig…!?" "Your coffee!" The reappeared shop assistant didn't know what had happened but the air had tensed in this corner, hadn't it? It wasn't her job to judge their customers' private affairs though, so she placed the tray with the coffee on the little table beside the chair and left again. Nevertheless she wondered why the young lady was glaring at this scary orange haired guy so furiously. Maybe he didn't like the shoes.

Rukia maintained her intense stare for a little longer to clarify her position. After that she turned around without another word to Ichigo and faced Ishida: "I think I have all I need. Can you help me carry this?"

"I hope you're aware that I'm not able to pay for all this."

The orange haired high school student had followed his friends to the cash desk – though he wasn't entirely sure if one of them could still be counted as his friend. Rukia placed her items on the counter ignoring him completely while handing the cashier her credit card. "You own a credit card?!" Ichigo's eyes were focusing the plastic card bewilderedly, which was now being return to its holder. She took the card, pocketed it and then turned to face him with a look that hinted he'd said something humiliating: "Of course I do, what were you thinking?" She held her breath for a second, than continued, this time with slight disappointment ringing in her voice. "Sometimes it feels like you tend to forget who I am." The dark haired Shinigami took her bags from the counter and headed outside. Ishida shook his head, worn out somehow. That was none of his business.

* * *

Ichigo had gone home and was now loafing on the couch. He had decided to play some video games, because nobody would mind him occupying the living room for the rest of the evening – no one was home. His sisters were attending a birthday party somewhere and his dad – for whatever reason – was not there either. Otherwise he probably would have been forced to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why he came back home from the shopping trip without Rukia. He took a brief look at his watch. It was eleven already. Ichigo didn't really want to admit it, but he seriously started to wonder where she was. When he had entered his room a few hours earlier after returning home he had noticed that her shopping bags had been placed beside his desk, but no hint about her whereabouts had been left.

The rustling sound of a key could be heard. He pressed the pause button and peeked cautiously around the corner into the hallway – maybe it were just Yuzu and Karin. The light was switched on and gave away Rukia's presence, who was eyeing him a little confused. He couldn't really determine whether it was because she didn't expect him to be the first 'thing' to catch sight of after switching on the light or if it was just because of him staring at the door in a rather awkward position.

"Hey."

It was actually the most informal and casual greeting that came to his mind.

"Hey."

Obviously it was the only thing that had crossed her mind as well at the moment.

She averted her gaze to get rid of her shoes and placed them neatly at the entrance.

"Where have you been?" He pulled a wry face – the atmosphere was tensed, again."On the way."That's it? That was her answer? Ichigo mumbled to himself – he knew she was doing that on purpose. " _On the way_ , huh? On the way to… _where_?" he asked putting more emphasis on his question than before. She went down the hallway and stopped in front of him:"Why do you care anyway? … Were you worried about me?" she retorted teasingly with a subliminal smile. He looked away to one side feigning nonchalance: "Che, didn't you point out like a thousand times that you are capable of handling yourself pretty well?" Ichigo faced her with a trace of arrogance: "So why would you cause me to be worried?" Her smile intensified. She bit her lip to restrain laughter:

"Fool, you know that only someone who's at least a little worried would say a line like that."

A wave of nostalgia hit him. Yeah, he had heard that before. He sighed. Rukia saw through him way to easily. Probably she was the only one he couldn't fool – never. The substitute turned his back and headed to the living room again: "Whatever." It was needless to say anything else.

He had tended to his video game again, Rukia sitting next to him on the couch observing the strangely dressed game characters. They were jumping all over the place, sometimes disappearing through some odd tubes only to be thrown into yet another dimension. Those tubes were probably working similar to a senkaimon. The time passed. Suddenly something hit Ichigo's shoulder. His finger slipped and the little plumber sailed down the abyss – game over. He looked to the side, annoyed, ready to complain as he realized that Rukia had bumped into his shoulder, leaning against him supposedly asleep, so he put the controller aside and closed his eyes as well.

"Do you mind?"

Her voice sounded cautious, restrained and maybe even a little guilty but the words themselves were sincere.

Ichigo flinched: "I thought you were asleep!"

The minutes went by. Minutes of silence in which none of them moved even an inch; a silence none of them commented on. It was the first time after this farce had started that he really enjoyed her company, that he really felt comfortable around her - just as it always used to be. Her presence had such a calming effect on him, although he would never openly admit that. As much as she liked provoking him he knew she would never judge him. He trusted her and therefore he was able to be himself. Therefore he knew she wouldn't make a teasing remark about their situation.

Ichigo exhaled deeply before breaking the silence: "Rukia?" He waited for a reaction – rather to take another breath than to verify if she was still awake.

"I'm sorry." She frowned, eyes still closed just like him.

"What for?"

"Well, I… I shouldn't have made fun of your height. I… know that hurts you." He could feel that she tried not to laugh.

"It's ok." Her voice was soft and gentle: "I'm not mad at you."

"You sure?" Incredulity was ringing in his tone, uncertain what to make out of her composure. "You didn't seem so back in the afternoon."

Rukia pondered for a second. "Well, let's say I'm not mad – _anymore_."

The dark haired woman opened her eyes and sat up: "But actually it wasn't fair what I've said to you either." He eyed briefly over his shoulder looking at her before a contemplative 'Mmh' left his throat. She tapped the sofa with both palms getting up slowly – a synonym that to her the matter had been settled. "I think we should go to sleep." When Ichigo had managed to get up and switch everything off he found her waiting at the stairs. He surveyed her closely: "And I assume you'll be sleeping…" "In your bed?" she finished his obviously intended question. After a moment a smirk formed on her lips: "Of course, one half is mine after all." Rukia turned around and walked what seemed triumphantly in his eyes up to his room.


	5. Did you already

"Sooo."

Isshin hummed. His voice indicated that this would be the beginning of a most likely unpleasant conversation or the beginning of one of his monologues – you couldn't really tell beforehand.

"Now that you're both sharing the same bed we can all frankly share our opinion on that."

Ichigo struggled not to choke his piece of toast while Rukia swallowed her tea as controlled as possible, placing the cup on the table without a sound. Yuzu's eyes were focused on her plate in embarrassment whereas Karin couldn't care less. Isshin bent over the table in a creepy manner, his expression somewhere between heated excitement and sincere shock: "Or did you already…?!"

Rukia stared at Ichigo's father abashedly when she noticed from a corner of her eye how Yuzu was uncomfortably sinking into her seat. She cleared her throat and was able to prevent the householder to continue his sentence – for the time had emerged the battle with his piece of toast victoriously, smashed his hand on the table and bent over to his father defiantly: "Hell, there are kids on the table! You think this is a good time to address that?!" "Hey! Yuzu and I are no kids anymore, got that!?" Karin had cut him off, visibly angered. The eyes of everyone present focused on the dark haired twin – except for Yuzu's.

For a moment there was silence.

"Well… I'll get some more tea."

The youngest family member raised, took the teapot and left for the kitchen counter with a lowered gaze.

Isshin meanwhile had neatly took a seat again, casually wiping his mouth with a napkin before finally resuming with his speech: "Well, I guess you're both responsible adults so I won't have to talk to you about the birds and the bees." He waved them a suggestive glance: "If you know what I mean." The air surrounding the father suddenly caught fire. "However…" Ichigo facepalmed inwardly – there it was… again… this stupid, annoying word 'however'. He really started to dislike it. "I'm not ready to become a grandfather yet, so please hold back a little, ok?" His voice was shaking slightly. "Although… although there is nothing in the world that could make me happier than…""Oi Karin, can you pass me the soy sauce?" The teenager had decided to avoid any eye contact with his father and Rukia and just tried to ignore this dramatic 'stage performance' somehow. He should have seen this argument coming. Isshin's eyes widened while he witnessed how the bottle of soy sauce was being passed from one side of the table to the other without a word. The former captain covered his face with one arm protectively before rushing to the poster of his deceased wife on the verge of tears:

"Ma-sa-kiii! Our son is ignoring me!

He's ignoring me! I just want him to be happy!

But I think… he's really becoming an adult!

Soon he'll start his own family and leave me! He'll leave me!"

It was one of those scenes you just couldn't take your eyes off no matter how hard you tried. At least Rukia felt that way being the only one who was watching this weird play. Karin leaned forward to her and whispered, still kind of disinterested: "Don't look, that only encourages him."

"Oh."

When she averted her gaze it was already too late. The ham actor had noticed her attention: "Rukia-chan!" Isshin had covered the distance from the poster wall to the table in no time, kneeing in front of her and taking her hands in his: "Rukia-chan, my third daughter, my daughter-in-law…" The Shinigami just stared at him blankly. Neither did she know what to say in the moment nor how to react to this kind of emotional outburst in general. Wait. Did he just say 'daughter-in-law'? That was definitely a bit rushed. Her thoughts were everywhere and nowhere at the same time, but she was a Kuchiki after all so nothing of that was showing on the outside. Her expression conveyed serenity, balance, countenance – years of practicing – maybe a little cold but polite:

"I…" She didn't get any further. "I beg you, Rukia-chan, please, make my son happy."

He looked her deep in the eyes. Although he was still a bit too overexcited his voice communicated sincere concern:

"I know he can be difficult sometimes. And he's not really good in expressing his feelings. On the outside he always pretends that everything is alright even when in truth he is really feeling down. He always wants to settle things on his own, never asking for help, never sharing his problems with anyone… but you. I know he'd do anything for you. That's just how important you are to him. So please, be lenient toward him. He needs you."

Rukia looked at him speechlessly. There was no experience she could recall that would have prepared her for what she had just heard. In no situation she had ever encountered it had been this hard to keep her composure. She had no idea if her face was giving away any of the emotions she was feeling right now. She had no idea if he could see her insecurity and the complete shock that was capturing her inside.

She felt dizzy.

She felt guilty.

What did they do?

She tried to focus on this thought while subconsciously an utterly different voice wanted to take the lead. Shoving this voice to the farthest corner of her mind she closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply. Isshin's words were reverberating in her head. She swallowed. She just wanted to allow the tears falling but she couldn't. It wasn't right to betray their friends, his family. It wasn't right to toy with someone's feelings.

But was there any chance in going back? Did any possible way exist to return to the point where everything was as it always had been? Where everything was as it probably should have stayed. Everything had started with this single sentence, this one sentence that had led them to scratch at the surface of something that had better remained untouched – something you couldn't seal again. She wasn't sure if Ichigo had been aware of this as well but that was the moment were she finally realized:

 _'We've got a problem.'_

It felt like a long ride through hell itself, although it had lasted only a few seconds in reality. She opened her eyes watched Isshin and then put on the most genuine smile she was able to give: "I will."

She was such a liar. However she had learned from a certain someone how to overcome an unpleasant situation like this. Rukia displayed a grin as authentic as possible and slapped Ichigo jokingly on the back – a bit harsher then she originally intended maybe: "I won't give him a hard time!"

"You… What?!"

Ichigo had been literally punched out of his comfort zone. His father was captured in the heat of the moment immediately and jumped to his feet cheering: "That's definitely my Rukia-chan!" Ichigo's eyebrow twitched: "Oi, she's not yours, ok!? And stop getting overexcited; you know what happens. You'll only get a nosebleed." Isshin inhaled deeply causing him to cover his face with one hand: "Oh! My nose!" The substitute grumbled while his obviously unteachable father fetched a napkin to press against his nose, sounding a bit funny: "She somehow reminds me of your moth-…"

"Otou-san, that's enough! You're invading their privacy!"

Yuzu suddenly stood in front of her father, arms crossed, scolding him for his indecent behavior. "You're one to talk! Don't you two always eavesdrop when a girl enters my room?!" She turned to her brother who had barged annoyed: "That's not fair! I did that only once!" "Yeah, yeah." Ichigo just shrug her objection off, lazily waving his hand. The family head whereas was still not willing to abandon any of his intentions: "Do you have any plans for today? … No? What about the whole family going…" A kick to his faced tackled him to the floor. Ichigo had promptly stifled his dad's attempt to propose any annoying activities. Unfortunately that was a clear 'no' for a potential family trip. The orange haired teenager put his dishes in the sink and gave his sister a thankful nod before signaling Rukia with his eyes to just leave that stupid idiot on his own.

The substitute Shinigami closed the door to his room behind his back. Letting out a tired groan he flopped to the ground: "Man, that was exhausting." He looked over to Rukia who didn't react to his remark at all. Her eyes were set on the floor.

"You alright?"

It seemed he had dragged her out of some deep thought. Although it was obvious that something was bothering her she smiled:

"Yeah, everything's fine."

Ichigo turned is head to the side, a little offended:

"If you don't wanna talk about it, just say so."

What about this hypocritical behavior? If he hadn't clearly seen that something was wrong, he wouldn't have asked in the first place. Maybe he wasn't quite the sensitive type, but he was well aware that she was feeling down at the moment. Could it probably be connected to his father's words somehow? His voice was haunting Ichigo's mind:

 _"_ _I know he'd do anything for you."_

 _"_ _That's just how important you are to him."_

 _"_ _He needs you."_

He wondered what Rukia thought about that.

* * *

 **Waaaaa- I'm really sorry that it took sooo long. . I moved to another city so I didn't have too much time to translate. Therefore this time the chapter is a bit shorter then originally intended so that you guys won't have to wait any longer for an update!^^**

 **Thank you so much for the reviews I recieved for the last chapter - especially thank you to all the guest reviewers because I couldn't thank you personally in a message! I really appreciate everyone who's reading, commenting, following and favoriting this story - this means a lot to me!**

 **Next chapter will probably be up a bit faster - cause I split this one up into two parts. Hope to hear your thoughts on this chapter!**


	6. You should kiss

The thoughtful silence was suddenly interrupted by a knock on his window.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?!"

Ichigo had stomped to said window. Renji was just grinning happily at him, while Ichigo stared back – apparently pissed. "I wanted to check on you – as usual." The high school student's gaze was still fixed on the red head fairly annoyed. Renji started to feel awkward when nothing happened and eyed Ichigo kind of helpless: "Uhm… could you… open the window maybe? It's a little uncomfortable here…"

"Come on, Ichigo open it." Rukia seemed rather amused.

The substitute let out a grumpy moan before he tore the window open without any prior notice causing the pineapple head to tumble into the room headfirst.

"Oh. Sorry, Renji."

"Sorry my ass! You did that on purpose! You wanna break my nose?!" The red haired vice-captain's head was only an inch away from Ichigo's face. "Well, no. But if it's not broken yet I could do you the favor and smack…"

"Guys."

Rukia's sour voice was ringing out prompting the pathetic power struggle to come to a halt.

Renji shivered: "Woah, creepy. That was Kuchiki-Taichou's voice one-to-one. He's always talking to me like that when I did something terribly wrong." He swallowed.

"Maybe it's because you _did_ something terribly wrong, so…" Ichigo was cut short by Rukia clearing her throat. He desisted from mocking Renji any further and took a seat at the end of his bed sulkily: " _He's_ the one who broke into my room without any invitation." "First, he didn't break in, you let him…" " _You're_ the one who wanted him to come in! As for me he could have rotted away outside!" Rukia just ignored his complaint: "And second, he's our friend – you could really act a little more considerate towards him!" Her speech was finished, the topic closed and she switched to a different level of communication – maybe what she considered to be polite but in this case she wasn't able to conceal the irritation in her voice: "Hey Renji. Nice to see you. What brought you here?"

"I glad at least _you_ seem to be happy about my presence." Renji obviously hadn't noticed the underlying feeling in her tone in the slightest. "I wanted to check if the rumors are true. The whole Sereitei already knows you two are a thing, but…" The 6th division vice-captain paused to take an examining glance at his friends. "I know what's going on here." He waited for any potential reactions, his eyes closely observing Rukia than Ichigo: "Actually you aren't really together, right?"

"W-what are you talking about, Renji? O-of course we are!"The overflowing insecurity in her voice was way too evident.

"Well I got confused because Kuchiki-Taichou knew before me." Two disbelieving pairs of eyes met him only one of them answered, her expression darkening: "What do you mean?" "Uhm, yeah as I just said Kuchiki-Taichou told me a few days ago he had heard you were dating." Ichigo and Rukia had one of their nonverbal conversations before turning back to Renji. "Sorry, but somehow we thought _you_ had told him." The skepticism in Ichigo's voice was mirrored in his face while he waited for the pineapple head's response. "But I didn't know back then." He watched them with gullible eyes.

He really seemed to be telling the truth. That was at least what his two friends agreed on after another exchange of intense glances. "Why are you doing that anyway? Who do you wanna fool?" Rukia was fidgeting on the bed nervously, drawing little circles on the sheets. Ichigo raised an eyebrow expectantly: "Rukia…?"His tone unmistakably signalized that _she_ was the one to explain this. She fished her phone out of her bag and searched for her brother's message:

"Well… Ichigo was motivated by his friends in school to claim we were currently in a relationship whereupon Nii-sama gave him his blessings in what seemed like a threatening mail and then texted me this."

The raven haired Shinigami showed Renji the message she had just opened.

"Woah, crazy. So what are you gonna do now?"

The high school student crossed his arms hostilely: "What do you mean ' _motivated_ '?" Rukia raised an eyebrow challengingly causing Renji to take a step forward so he was standing right between his two friends lifting one of his hands in front of Ichigo warningly: "That's not how you do this, Ichigo." Then Rukia received a reprimanding glance. "If you go on like this nobody will believe you." "So what's _your_ suggestion then, huh?" the annoyed teenage substitute objected.

Renji feigned to ponder for a while. Suddenly grinning diabolically he raised a finger in the air as if the best idea of the century had just hit him right in this moment.

"…You should kiss."

"Yeah, we should kiss, Renji!"

Sarcasm was the only thing Ichigo had been able to voice after holding his breath for a second. A moment of complete silence ensued.

"I guess I'm going to leave you two alone then."

Rukia got up from the bed heading for the door, a little ashamed that Ichigo didn't notice the ambiguity of the statement he had just made. The orange haired boy watched her confused, frowning: "Wait… what?"

"Honestly Ichigo, if that had been an outing just now then I get why you didn't take your relationship to the next level yet, but… I'm sorry you're not my type."

"Oh, so who's your type then, Renji?" Rukia interrupted their bromance moment nosily, her hand resting on the doorknob.

A shade of red that was similar to his hair color had found its way to his face: "Could we please stop this? Somehow I'm reminded of last year's Christmas." Ichigo tried to act cool, but failed.

"What happened last Christmas?"(1) She watched them questioningly from the side. Renji was his usual self again: "Don't you remember? Ichigo gave you this bathing sponge!" "Didn't _you_ give Byakuya _that_ bathing sponge?" The half-Shinigami had been able to counter just in time so that Rukia didn't have the chance to add any comment on that. The tattooed fukutaichou however was massaging his neck nervously: "Please don't remind me of that." Rukia raised her hands to settle the little dispute. "Alright, nobody will remind anyone of anything here anymore, ok? _Where_ did we stop?"

"Ichigo wanted to kiss me." the red head stated dryly.

"No, I didn't."

Ichigo had to pull himself together so he wouldn't tackle this idiot to the floor – that would only have been misleading again probably. Meanwhile Renji's devilish smile had found its way back: "No, but… Rukia is someone you'd like to kiss, right?" Ichigo averted his gaze facing the wall, his nostril twitched slightly: "I absolutely… definitely don't want to do that." With this answer Renji turned his back on Ichigo, facing Rukia:

"Obviously Ichigo is being an idiot, so I'm offering myself as his substitute."

"Alright, nobody is kissing anyone here, ok?"

Now that was enough, really. Why was Renji here again? To make everything worse?

"Fine with me, I gotta leave anyway." The vice-captain went for the window as if nothing had happened. He climbed through then looked back inside: "But bear in mind, Ichigo… Rukia and I have shared a lot more than you might think. See you around!"

And then he was gone.

* * *

"Do you think Renji is right?"

Rukia was again sitting on his bed lazing around and doodling some cute animals in her sketchbook.

Ichigo was bent over some complicated mathematical formula at his desk pushing the pencil a little too hard when her sudden question caught him completely off guard. He turned in the chair sharpening his reflexes ready to defend himself in any way possible if necessary, uncertain where she was exactly aiming at: "Right in what respect?"

"That nobody will believe us." She seemed totally unimpressed and just continued her drawings.

Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief, sincere easing in his voice: "Oh, you mean _that._ " His raven haired roommate looked up eying him critically a deep frown on her face: "Of course, what were _you_ thinking?" The teenage boy felt like being caught in the act but tried to keep up his casual demeanor: "Uhm, n-nothing… I… just wanted to make sure we're talking about the same thing." She examined him closely with a stern glance only to shake her head after a few seconds to let the matter rest and start over: "So, _do you_ think he is right?" He adopted a serious attitude sincerely reflecting on the issue. After a while he broke the silence: "Yeah, maybe." Although his voice was calm it sounded gloomy to a certain extent. "Ishida had mentioned something along those lines as well." "What did he say?" "He said, normally he wouldn't believe that we're in a relationship, but figured we must be telling the truth cause we somehow acted different around each other than usually."

"Wow, that didn't sound convinced at all."

Rukia's focus shifted to the floor thoughtfully than went back to him. She wanted to utter something when Ichigo preempted her:

"Maybe we should just break up."

That was by far not what she had expected.

She smiled sighing deeply. "If you break up with me Nii-sama will kill you." Right, his suggestion didn't pay attention to that, but he already had a solution in mind: "Well…I guess than _you_ would have to break up with _me_."

"That's possible, but…" She hesitated, struggling how to put it. "It would be strange, if I broke up with you suddenly after four days, right?" The tone in her voice became matter-of-factly as if they were drafting a contract and were right in the middle of negotiating the conditions: "So, what do you think would be credible?"

He just shrugged it off nonchalantly: "A few weeks?"

"Three?"

"Three seems reasonable."

Rukia nodded contently.

"Well, then I'm going to break up with you in three weeks."

"Alright." Ichigo's expression delivered in a 'If it's ok with you, it's ok with me as well.' attitude. He then turned to solving the equations on his worksheet again.

* * *

 **That did take a long time again, I'm deeply sorry...**

 **So this is the second part of the last chapter actually - inserting Renji is always fun I think, I really like the dynamic between those three.**

 **Again thank you all for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting! I even got a review in German - I was soooo happy! - Vielen lieben Dank Neko Chan! Yeah Rukia's feelings will play an important part in the story but not yet . Right now it's still Ichigo's turn so I'll elaborate her state of mind more detailed at a later time!**

 **(1) Just a note on the whole Christmas conversation. That is part of another short story I'm currently translating a well. Important to know is only that Ichigo gave Rukia a strawberry shaped bathing sponge for Christmas and Renji gave Byakuya a pineapple one.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed and continue to support this story!**


	7. I thought we have a date

**Hello there, I know it took a long time, but here we go!**

 **We start with a flashfoward (one week ahead) as indicated by the italics -have fun!^^**

* * *

 _His first thought had been going home straight away but he spontaneously decided for a detour at some point in between. Ichigo stared annoyed at the bright blue sky, which by far didn't correspond with his current mood. Although he definitely wouldn't have preferred rain in contrast, he hated the way the sun was almost grinning at him. The teenager by no means liked the direction the recent events were leading them. Without any doubt his reaction earlier had been highly suspicious again – just leaving school all of a sudden ahead of schedule. However in this very moment he couldn't care less about what everyone might think. He just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to avoid hearing how everybody went on criticizing him for everything he said or didn't say or for what he did or didn't. Ichigo thought about the contract he made with Rukia a few days ago – that she would break up with him in… about two weeks now._

 _'Alright.', he'd said._

 _'Alright.' my ass._

 _As much as he had hoped everything would be going smoothly and relaxed between them with that agreement, he now realized how wrong he'd been. Nothing was relaxed. In the past few days he'd lied to so many people, had lied to himself again and again, had pretended things at every occasion, had slandered himself, had repressed his own feelings so that he started to feel he was losing sight of who he really was. It was the same with Rukia. Ichigo remembered her words: 'Sometimes it feels like you tend to forget who I am.' He wondered if he had forgotten about that a long time ago or if he had never truly known her. Somewhere in the middle of last week they had stopped to talk in a casual way. Every conversation they've had, had simply been limited to their non-existent love relationship – and nearly all of these conversations had been taking place in the presence of someone else, never when they were alone. Maybe they had run out on things to share with each other. He seriously was concerned how to endure all that for another two weeks._

* * *

Rukia sleepily entered the kitchen on Monday morning to get herself a cup of tea while she was attentively eyed by the householder, who had been sipping at his coffee and was now peeking at her behind his newspaper.

"Sooo, did you sleep well?" he said in a honeyed voice. She didn't like the obvious innuendo he'd intended with his question.

Ichigo's entry saved her from that precarious situation for the time being.

"Morning." he muttered in his usual annoyed tone and stepped beside Rukia to draw a cup from the shelf.

"Your father is trying to impose a talk on me." Rukia whispered cautiously while fetching a spoon from the drawer to lean a little closer towards him. "He's an idiot, just ignore him." He sounded completely uninvolved. Isshin renewed his attempt to get their attention – maybe yesterday's proposal for a family activity would work today. "What are your plans after school then, huh?" He pondered for a few seconds before deciding to attack the weak point of the pair directly so he added: "…Rukia-chan?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow amazed that his father had been _this_ clever on his own. Rukia ran a hand through her hair then turned half so she was facing Ichigo. "Well, we…" She looked at her counterpart searching for help and began to whisper again: "What shall I say?" The high school student didn't make a move to answer her verbal or nonverbal question until her eyes darkened. "If you don't want to go to the park holding hands with your father this afternoon you better come up with a good excuse." That was convincing, damn it.

Isshin was still waiting for an answer, impatiently fidgeting on his chair: "What are you whispering there? Hello? I want to join in!"

"Just say something." Rukia insisted. The substitute Shinigami took a sip from his coffee and then asked extremely serious without any emotion:

"Shall we go on a date?"

"Uhm… okay?"

He wasn't quite sure if that was a counter question or answer but turned to his dad determinedly proclaiming their just established plan: "Well, Rukia and I have a date. We'll probably be home late so don't wait with dinner." He emptied his cup, snatched a slice of toast and left. Rukia followed suit just to be save but stopped again at the doorframe. She turned to Isshin and chirped in her school girl voice:

"We're really sorry."

* * *

"Are you ready?"

They were standing in front of the school gate. She joined his sigh: "Yeah, let's get over with it." Ichigo gave her an annoyed look:

"Don't think _I'm_ having fun here! I have an image to lose after all."

She shot him a skeptical glance in return:

"Your image went down the drain the moment I first set foot on this very ground of your school."

"Yeah, thanks again." he snappishly mumbled to himself.

With another deep breath Ichigo tried to switch off all the thoughts, that were currently running through his mind and to adapt to his new role and simply accept. Rukia watched him closely then stared down awkwardly. There was a lot going on in her head right now. She sensed a hint of melancholy was about to embrace her when she suddenly felt him take her hand in his and gently pulled her along with him.

"Would you stop staring down there so suspiciously?"

Rukia winced. Did she…? How did he…? She averted her gaze from the unfamiliar sight of her hand in his that obviously wasn't only conversation topic number one in her mind but also everywhere around them. Her eyes wandered around all the faces that were examining them more or less carefully. Everyone whispered noisily without even trying to hide it. "They are talking about us, right?" She looked up warily. Ichigo's eyes were set straight not even flinching an inch. "Of course, what else?" Rukia again surveyed her surroundings. "Is it always like that? Here in the human world?", she asked a little disbelieving concerning the massive attention that was given to them and shook her head. "I feel as if a dozens of Matsumoto-Fukutaichous were staring at me at once." His voice sounded sour and somewhat acrimonious:

"Yeah, that's how it goes… unless you attach importance to attract no attention… as _I_ usually do."

An analyzing "Mmh…" floated their way when Ishida appeared in front of them out of nowhere. His eyes were roaming the couple that had obviously reached the stage of holding hands, which he had to admit surprised him a little.

"Kuchiki-san, what an honor to see you here, but why are you wearing our school uniform?"

"Well I… will be… going to school with you again… for the time being."

A wrinkle formed on his forehead as he repeated her words questioningly:

"For the time being?"

Rukia looked over one shoulder facing the floor as if the situation embarrassed her to some extant – what strictly speaking was exactly the case but for different reasons: "After Nii-same and Ukitake-Taichou had heard about our…" she made a head movement towards Ichigo. "…relationship they agreed it would be a good idea for me to stay in the human world for a while." The black haired Quincy moved his glasses up his nose: "I see." With that he left and went down the corridor.

The instant Ishida was out of sight Ochi-Sensei made her appearance and considered 'conversation topic number one' with a scolding expression. "Well, well seems like I'll be having _the both of you_ in my class again, right?" She beat the devil's tattoo on the book she was holding in her arm. "Don't cause me any trouble, got that?"

The teacher gave Ichigo than Rukia a permeating look:

"So please save your intimacy for the break."

She made a meaningful pause and added completely sober:

"If that time is enough."

Her face darkened all of a sudden: "Otherwise you should do that at home."

Repeatedly the pair was skated over. Ichigo and Rukia remained silent for a while. After the black haired woman had skimmed through her thoughts she felt the need to dig a little deeper. "Say, is she allowed to do that?" He looked down to her, voice dismissive and let go of her hand. "Does it matter?" "Well, I mean…" Ichigo had halfway disappeared into the class room but turned his head again to look at her because his question seemingly hadn't been enough for an answer. "What do you wanna do about it? Run after her and say something like:" He tried to imitate her artificial school girl voice she liked to display in front of others when she wanted to uphold her own image:

"Oh, you know Kurosaki-kun and I don't have that kind of relationship. You got that completely wrong, so please refrain from making any innuendos about a potential physical liaison between us, because we don't have that."

Even Rukia had to admit that this would have been foolish. Still she was a little angry with the way he'd made fun of her favorite role.

"It doesn't matter what she's thinking."

The look in his eyes was as emotionless as the uncharacteristic statement he'd just made. He went into the class room. She looked after him, not sure what to retort or what to take his remark for and mumbled quietly to herself kinda vexed:

"Oh? So suddenly it doesn't matter anymore?"

"I heard that one!" he shot back.

Visibly annoyed she followed him. She'd let the topic rest for now. However, something was wrong with him.

They were sitting on the rooftop during lunch break when she tried to come up with a new subject, after the whole morning had passed by wordlessly. "So, what are we going to do after school?" Everyone pricked up their ears, some of them a little too conspicuous. But secretly none of them wanted to miss out when after hours of silence finally a conversation was in prospect. Nobody knew the reason they hadn't talked that long, it just had been relatively strange. "Don't know. Why?" There it was again – this bored attitude Ichigo displayed that always made Ishida suspicious. This time however the substitute noticed himself that he'd forgot his part. He hadn't even looked up. He slapped himself internally having fallen back into his old pattern that easily. Ichigo cleared his throat, turned to Rukia and looked at her as attentive as possible: "I mean… I don't know. What would you _like_ to do?"

"Doing it! With you! – Come on, say it!"

A precise slap dashed the situation's saboteur against the next wall.

"Damn it, Chizuru! Merely because I give you a smack every time you throw yourself at Orihime doesn't mean you're allowed to indulge in other peoples' sex fantasies instead! Did I make myself clear?!"

Tatsuki was visibly furious. Firstly because of that extraordinarily inappropriate comment she just made, secondly because of the extraordinarily inappropriate comment _s_ she always made.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Rukia averted her gaze from that unpleasant scenery. "Yeah, me too." Ichigo followed suit. Their friends drowned themselves in a raucous chaos in the background in which Tatsuki's violent attack was serving as a suitable topic. In return nobody seemed to care about the newly sprouting conversation between the pair anymore. Solely Ishida and Sado were observing the scenario's turnaround in regard to its two protagonists as well. Rukia quietly cleared her throat: "So, what are we going to do?" She looked at Ichigo discreetly. "We told your father we'll probably be late so we should at least think about _something_." The high school student felt Ishida's gaze piercing through his back persistently. The Quincy's alarm bells seemed to be on high alert. If he said something wrong this time again this guy would only get suspicious, that was for sure. Although he felt kind of uncomfortable doing that, he bent down to Rukia a little more and tried to mimic the expression with which she would usually put _him_ off with:

"I thought we have a date."

He thought he sensed Ishida raising one of his eyebrows and then tending to his lunch again, seemingly pleased with the conversation's outcome.

* * *

 **Sooo, finally managed to translate the chapter - so happy and sorry so keep you all waiting so long.**

 **Again thank you all for following, favoriting and reviewing!**

 **Thanks Neko Chan for your review! Yeah, that's just how Renji is xD but I like him for being such an idiot!**


	8. They are black

**So guys, it took a real long time to update this chapter but here you finally go! I had a lot of other projects going on so I hope I'll be able to update the next chapter a little sooner that this one. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"That's not quite the way I would have imagined our first date to be."

She looked kinda disappointed, her gaze wandering over the bistro's terrace where they both had been sitting rather uncommunicatively eating their sandwiches. It was fairly late for having dinner therefore all the other customers had already left, leaving them completely on their own. Ichigo raised an eyebrow looking up from his plate: "Oh, really?" Rukia narrowed her eyes to slits: "Are we being skeptical?" The teenager placed his left arm on the table and used his other arm to cup his chin in his hand while feigning serious curiosity to listen to her story: "So what did you expect than? Is the mood by any chance to unromantic for your taste?" The second sentence left no doubt that he was making fun of her. "Well, I…" She paused.

Wait? Did she honestly consider his question?

"Oi!" He tried to get her attention.

"Wait a minute! You are… well aware that this is not a _real_ date, are you?"

Rukia leaned back in the chair crossing her arms over her chest: "Oh, so this does finally catch your attention? But the fact that I hinted I had once before imagined us to have a potential date, isn't strange to you, or what?"

"I… uhm…" Ichigo blinked confusedly. "That… is completely irrelevant right now. We're not _having_ a date and because the person we have to thank for sitting here and _pretending_ to have one is _you_ , I don't think it is _that_ strange for you to have imagined once before how a potential date between us would have played out."

"Oh, so now this is _my_ fault!?" She had bent forward, her hands violently placed around the table surface. Her eyes flashed dangerously but not yet dangerously enough to convince Ichigo of retreating: "You're the one who wanted me to keep your father at bay!" The raven haired woman was strangling the innocent table even harder: "Would you probably have preferred to hang around in the park with _him_? And afterwards go on a shopping stroll, holding hands with _him_ instead?" Now Ichigo was following suit, leaning forward as well: "I didn't do that because I wanted to, ok?" He looked to one side, a little ashamed, and wrinkled his nose: " _Keigo_ followed us! I didn't have a choice!"

The tensed atmosphere seemed to gradually evaporate when they both leaned back in their seats again. Not for a long time however:

"And still, it wasn't _my_ idea to begin with." Rukia added grouchily.

Luckily the substitute refrained from counter arguing this time.

"So?" He looked to the ground kinda sheepishly and maybe even a little guilty. "How _did_ you imagine it?"

"I'll pay."

She raised from her chair and determinedly left for the counter inside.

"Oi, wait! We both need to pay." Her response hold him back to follow her: "I'll treat you."

Ichigo was sure he must've had misheard that. "Won't it be weird if _you_ pay?" Rukia just grinned superiorly: "You are well aware, that this is not a _real_ date, are you?" She bent her head a little, closely examining him: "Apart from that I thought that you recently stopped to care what others might think." On the inside he was boiling but one the outside he was just frowning and shuffled to the entrance to see the shop owner's reaction. Rukia was handing him the money right in that moment he caught sight of the two: "Oh, the lady pays?" Ichigo mumbled to himself, annoyed because of course it _was_ weird. The shinigami smiled politely while taking her change: "No problem, I'm way older than him." She bowed and left through the door from where Ichigo had spied upon them.

"I wonder what that guy's thinking about us." It was more of a soliloquy, but Ichigo had waited until they were out of the owner's earshot. He shook his head completely lost under the spell of the world's dominating clichés. "What is there to think about, anyway?" Her voice was placatory. How could she be so calm about that? "In case you didn't notice, we're both still wearing the same school uniform. So he's at most thinking I'm about two years older than you." She continued to confidently walk her way. "So, don't worry, he's most likely not thinking that I'm a working woman in the prime of life, who likes to kill her time with inexperienced teenage boys." A shiver ran down his spine. How could she be able to voice that so nonchalantly? He was still a little appalled when she suddenly stopped in her tracks. "Oh."

Right in this moment she became aware of what it meant to speak without thinking.

"What's up?" Ichigo looked at her questioningly.

She was searching for a suitable reply without giving away what she'd just realized: "Strictly speaking I _am_ a working woman."

"Being a shinigami is not a job!"

Rukia raised her eyebrow: "I'm working and I get paid for it. So what is your point?" Ichigo turned and walked past her: "If you want to defend your position as a 'working woman in the prime of life' or whatever you've said, then please issue me a warning if you want to continue to the second stage. I'll reintroduce Mizuiro to you then."

* * *

Ichigo opened the front door where – and he should have seen this coming – his father was already sitting on the lookout to check when the enamored couple would return home from their date.

"So? How was it? Did you have fuuuuu-n?"

Before Ichigo was able to attack his father in any way possible Rukia grabbed his arm and leaned close – just as one was used to see in every average shôjo manga: "Yeah, it was such a nice afternoon." Isshin examined the still unfamiliar scenery with curiosity: "You two are quite late. Have you been to…?" he wanted to continue but his son just walked past him with his girlfriend: "Yeah, we're late and we're quite tired so we'll be going to sleep now." They disappeared so fast from Isshin's sight that he couldn't retort anything else. Thoughtfully he scratched his beard and concluded his already half-finished sentence internally: "…no love hotel obviously." Right when he started walking towards the living room the inevitable consequence of this just now acquired insight hit him as if he was struck by lightning leaving him in a frozen state right on the very spot where he was standing.

"And that is the reason you want to go to sleep _right away_ , I get it!"

He looked around as if being paranoid and then hurried to the kitchen.

Rukia came back from the bath to Ichigo's room – in her own pajamas this time. She looked a little flustered and Ichigo was – he had to admit – a bit worried: "What… happened?" The raven haired women still seemed absentmindedly: "Your father is lying in the dark hallway outside your room and is observing the door." He felt relieved: "Just ignore him. He thinks if he's not looking you right in the eye you can't see him as well." The confusion in her face didn't disappear. "So why did he talk to me then?" Deep wrinkles formed on his forehead: "What… _did_ he say then?"

"I'm sure he wants to know what you're wearing under your pajamas."

Ichigo swallowed. "Well, uhm… just for the record, that… was self-talk I guess. And no… I don't want to know." He turned back to his desk chair where he continued to search his bag for something seemingly important. "Are you sure…?" There it was again, one of those uncomfortable situations that happened a little too often in the last few days. "Yeah, I really don't want to…"

"…about your father?" That took a load off his mind – everything else would have been… he didn't want to think about it. "Yes, I really don't want to talk about my father." He patted his shoulder internally. Well done. "I'm sorry. It's just… he's fairly weird sometimes." "Yeah, that's him." He somehow hoped he didn't sound too relieved just now. "By the way…" He had finally found what he'd been searching the whole time and turned round to Rukia halfway. She had sat down on his bed in the meantime to dry off her hair properly. Just then a white missile that was disguised as a plastic bag rushed by her left ear. She felt a light breeze.

"What the hell is…?!" she began while turning to face the object that nearly hit her face. Rukia honestly hoped that this hadn't been an assassination attempt gone wrong, but then she concluded that Ichigo would have never thrown whatever it was over such a short distance without being able to hit his aimed target – he was a sissy sometimes, but not a girl.

Rukia opened the bag and took a cautious look inside. He could see her smile brighten.

She looked up to face him somewhere between gratitude and confusion: "When did you…?" She was completely fascinated by those fluffy, white bunny earmuffs. "There were thousands of things in the shop's window we were talking about. I just barely noted I really liked those." For a short moment it seemed as if everything could be as it always had been. She smiled: "Thank you, Ichigo."

On the inside she sighed because she knew it could _not_ be like that and she was sure he knew as well. Still both of them enjoyed their momentary, completely unbiased, honest staring contest far away from all the conventions their current, forced relationship status required.

"We should…" he started.

"Yes, we should."

She put her towel and the new earmuffs away and slipped under the covers. Ichigo sat down on his bed, turned off the lights on his nightstand and followed suit.

"Just for the record… nothing."

He had nearly drifted off to sleep when this 'nothing' came out of nowhere. The orange head frowned: "'Nothing' what?" It remained silent for a weighty moment before she said: "What I am wearing under my pajamas. … Nothing." Again a moment of silence ensued. And another one. And one more. Ichigo was happy the lights were switched off and that there was no need to comment on her… whatever that had been. He was nearly about to accept this newly found information as a fact, when she raised her voice again: "That was a joke." It went silent, and remained silent. Ichigo turned on his other side now a little more at ease and got comfy under the sheets.

"They are black."

And with these words in mind he fell asleep – sooner or later.


	9. Did you enjoy it?

**Woooow, this really _did_ take a long time to upload. I am deeply apologizing to everyone who is still following this story and thought I had given up on this - but I can assure you: I didn't. Although the updates are not regular I wish and hope for both old and new readers to give 'Ship Happens' a chance - just as with this beloved pairing. I am always looking foward to any comment, follower, favouriter and every one else who's giving this story a try - yoroshiku ne!**

* * *

His head was aching. He was in his inner world, where he tended to meet his Zanpakutou spirit. But this time it was oddly dark. Not a single ray of light, not a single raindrop falling. It was hard to recognize even the slightest silhouette. He wasn't sure how long he'd been here but it seemed like forever, as if he'd always been here. Ironically he'd probably always _been_ here – in a way; it was his inner world to begin with. Ichigo held his temple. The thumping in his head just wouldn't stop. What was going on here? Why was nobody here? Where was the old man? He suddenly heard Rukia's voice from far away that was trying to get through to him but he couldn't understand a single word. No matter how hard he concentrated on it, her words didn't reach him. It just sounded as if someone was pulling his head under water. The skyscrapers around him were starting to shake just like the ground he was standing on. Ichigo tried to hold onto something, anything to save himself from falling into the abyss but nothing was there. He couldn't breathe.

His eyes flipped open.

Although his mind was still far away his reflexes were already sharp enough to react appropriately. Only seconds later he sat upright in his bed pushing the pillow that had been suffocating him away from his face. Ichigo took a deep breath, as the rest of him was finally processing what was going on:

"Did you want to _kill_ me?!"

Rukia was standing at one side of his bed wearing an indifferent expression, still holding onto the supposed murder weapon: "Well, you just wouldn't wake up. You have any idea what time it is?" He glimpsed at his alarm clock. Damn, did he oversleep? Rukia was simply baffled as she witnessed Ichigo jumping out of his bed, bridging the distance between it and his closet, fetching his clothes and getting to the door in merely two seconds. He paused:"You're going to pay for this." Having that said he disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

Ichigo repeatedly eyed his watch kinda paranoid as they were covering their way to school as if it was a short-distance race. They would be too late. He shook his head internally. That was bad…

"Kuchiki-san and Kurosaki…"

Ochi-sensei let her gaze wander around the classroom and the two empty seats.

"Not present."

She closed the class register with a flap, as if the attendance check was already finished. "Well, we all know what that means." She dozed off slightly reminiscing about her own school days but already back in an instant and back in her 'I-don't-give-a-shit-about-my-students' attitude: "Teenager. That's everything you ever think about, isn't it?"

Right in this moment the door was torn open exposing her two missing students. "There is something called 'knocking'. Ever heard about that, Kurosaki?!" Her voice was far from relieved that her class was complete after all. Rukia pushed Ichigo to the side and entered the class room before he could do or say anything stupid. She bowed in front of their teacher apologetically:

"We are honestly sorry but…"

"Don't say it. Don't say it." Ichigo was mumbling to himself like a mantra.

"We overslept."

Great, she _did_ say it.

Ochi-sensei was fishing for a piece of chalk. "Yeah, we figured as much…" With that she turned around to the blackboard leaving the pair alone with the piercing gazes of their fellow classmates.

* * *

Lunch break came but they were still haunted by everyone's naughty glances. Apparently the rumors about them being late for school had spread like wildfire. Keigo cleared his throat nervously after Ichigo and Rukia had joined them on the rooftop: "So… Ichigo…" The orange head raised an eyebrow but before Asano could go on Mizuiro leaned in to his brown haired friend informing him about the faux pas he was about to make: "Kuchiki-san is here as well. It would be rude to ask him now." "Well, we are in a relationship so there is nothing you can't discuss while I'm here."

Was she being serious? He turned his head to face Rukia wearing an expression that said something along the lines of 'Are you really that stupid, that you have no idea what this is actually about?'. Luckily nobody except her could see his reaction, especially not Ishida. Although his facial expression should have given her a broad hint it had no effect on her as she continued to watch Keigo and Mizuiro expectantly. Ichigo's idiot friend cleared his throat again: "So… did you enjoy it?"

His question floated in the air until Rukia volunteered to tell the whole story completely unrequested: "Oh, we did. We went to the park and after that we went to that nice little place… We were the only customers, because it was already late. I paid the bill and the owner seemed a bit confused about our relation, because I told him I was way older than Ichigo. So the rest of the evening we were wondering if this guy thinks I am always tending to kill my time with inexperienced teenage boys." "Ok, that's enough for now." He had to end that. Ichigo got up, took her arm as gentle as possible and dragged her with him to the stairs: "We need to talk."

Keigo and Mizuiro remained seated rather surprised by the turn the story had taken. "Wow, that's not quite what I expected…" "I guess the rumors are true then." concluded the blue haired womanizer. "I wonder what it is they need to _talk_ about."

He pushed her against the wall a little too harsh: "Have you completely lost it?" His eyes looked furious. "You know he didn't ask about the date, do you?!"

Rukia shoved him away to a more appropriate distance, equally angered: "Do you really think I'm _that_ stupid? I am well aware where he was aiming at, so I told him what he wanted to hear. Where's your problem?" Her justification speech continued to pour down on him when he didn't immediately respond to her question. "Everyone else thinks we are in a…" She formed quotation marks in the air. "…relationship. So they anticipate we are doing everything that is part of being in a relationship. What is wrong with that? It's not like we really _did_ it." Rukia inhaled deeply, still pissed. "Apart from that I told the truth. All of that actually happened. It's not my problem if he's misunderstanding it."

Ichigo let her words ease down for a moment, although her arguments technically didn't change a thing about his objections.

"Why is everything always no big deal for you?"

He watched her, his expression now completely serious, his anger gone. Only the still furrowed brows on his face assured her, that he didn't just change into an entirely different person. She felt kinda uncomfortable with the way he looked at her. Her eyes trailed off to the ground. She wanted to avoid him but… there was something that had been occupying her mind for quite some time now so she decided to act as usual – toss the ball back to Ichigo and making him feel insecure instead:

"Why is everything always such a _big_ deal for _you_?"

She looked determined leaving him no room to answer, yet: "Is it because it's _me_?" Her voice sounded accusing. The following sentence escaped her mouth without her being able to hold it back anymore: "Is it _that_ awful because it's _me_?"

She noticed how he wanted to say something but now that she had finally uttered it she couldn't get a hold of herself anymore: "Is it really _that_ awful that everyone thinks _I am_ the one you're doing…?"

"Ara? Kuchiki-san? Kurosaki-kun?"

Orihime had just walked up the stairs and unknowingly prevented Rukia from going any further. Somehow she was grateful to Inoue. She had barely been able to keep her composure. Although a part of her really wanted to hear an honest answer from Ichigo, just a little more and she would have completely lost the control over her body. "Is… everything alright?" The orange haired girl eyed both of her friends questioningly. Ichigo attempted to explain the situation when Rukia took the lead again: "Yeah, everything's fine. We just talked about the rumors that are going round."

"What rumors?"

Ichigo tried to reply once more but he didn't get a chance to: "Oh, it's nothing. Let's go join the others and eat!" With these words Rukia opened the door to the rooftop and shoved Inoue carefully outside. She felt Ichigo's gaze on her. He was well-deserved confused about the sudden change in her behavior, which was nothing but really bad acting in his eyes. Rukia indicated him with her hand to follow Inoue outside. He _did_ , to her surprise, without any further objection.

She watched him go for a moment, sighed and finally stepped through the door herself.


	10. Why didn't I notice?

**And here comes chapter 10 - yeay. Although it's really short I'm happy it didn't take me that long to update this time**!

* * *

Dull. The sky was dull and overly clouded, but no single raindrop would fall although it looked as if a heavy downpour was bound to happen any time. A deep frown was plastered on Ichigo's forehead. He blamed the weather for his mood, but first and foremost he blamed his companion, who had not shared a single word with him since lunch break. The whole way home he had been struggling with one question: Whether he should address the matter or not. They had just turned around a corner and were nearly home, when he finally decided to settle things:

"About earlier…" Ichigo was looking ahead without any emotion showing in his voice."About your question…" He didn't really know how to put it but that wasn't necessary.

"Just forget about it." Rukia said and went on as if their uncomfortable conversation had not even happened – never, not at all.

He stopped in his tracks, a vein dangerously popping right above his eye. "Oi, wait up!" The black haired woman continued walking without any reaction.

Two big steps were enough to cover the distance between them. He caught her wrist and made her turn around to face him: "You can't start a topic like that and then pretend like nothing's going on." For the second time this day she avoided his gaze. Ichigo's eyes traveled to one side. He sighed, intentionally loud so she would definitely hear it because he was about to make something you _could_ call a confession – by his standard:

"You're not the reason – and you know that."

The high school student watched her carefully from the corner of one eye to check if anything about Rukia's missing emotional involvement had changed.

No, nothing.

He had to give it another try and he hated that because therefore he had to put things on the line he would have preferred to keep to himself: "A relationship is a serious matter, ok? And I don't get why you're always playing it down. You can't compare that to the time when Kon was using my body for the first time and…" Kinda creepy memories overflowed him as he remembered what this perverted Mod Soul had done in _his_ name. "…and you said that a kiss was nothing special. For a Shinigami this might be no big deal, but for _me_ it is. You're not _going_ with someone just for the sake of _going_ with someone." He frowned. "Well, although _some_ teenagers do."

"But you _are_ not one of those teenagers of course."

He suddenly raised his eyes, bewildered by the fact that she had very well listened and more importantly that she was very well looking straight at him.

"What? That's exactly what you just implied, didn't you?" Finally getting a reaction from Rukia he was now the one to fall silent.

"Do you really think I am taking this for a joke?" Ichigo averted his gaze from her somehow uninvolved. "It's not that we basically value relationships less than you humans do but… in a Shinigami's life there isn't always a place for such a bond. Even time has not the same significance to us than it does to you. Our life conditions are just… so different." A resigned sigh escaped her. "But thanks for thinking I'm not taking this serious."

Although they were still standing relatively close to each other they were both looking in different directions. The silence spread like an invisible mist. It was as if something was lurking, patiently waiting to take advantage of their clouded feelings that were full of doubt and break them apart.

In retrospect this was probably the point their initial relationship had finally been irreversibly damaged. Basically they didn't ever mind the silent moments when they were spending time together. But the current silence had nothing in common with the familiar comfortableness of just being oneself in the presence of the other they usually shared – knowing, understanding without the need to voice any of their thoughts. The current silence was full of distrust and (self)deception.

After a few seconds that had felt like minutes, Ichigo finally reacted to her 'speech of thanks'.

"Then why didn't I notice you're being serious?"

His voice was calm. His opinion that Rukia was just acting out a well-prepared play didn't frowned internally: Well, it _was_ nothing else but acting, right?

"Because you're an idiot, maybe?"

Her voice sounded cynical – well-deserved. _This_ was a serious matter and she would really have preferred to keep it to herself… she honestly wished he wasn't such an idiot… however…

Silence continued before Rukia spoke up again.

"Do you really think we both are _that_ stupid?"

She waited for Ichigo to respond, but he didn't.

"You know _pretty_ well what this is really about."

Her eyes spoke volumes – of irritation, disappointment, incomprehension, grief, vulnerability, hope.

He didn't know what to do. He was paralyzed. She was right. Of course he knew what this was all about. Would they have ever reached this point without this 'pretended' relationship?

Rukia didn't say anything else, the look on her face was more than enough.

/Why can't you do anything?/ was what he could read in her eyes.

Her words were echoing in his mind over and over again until her voice blended with his own inner voice, asking him exactly the same. Why didn't he do anything still? What was the problem? What hindered him? He opened his mouth attempting to say something but only an apathetic sigh made its way out.

"If you cannot say or do anything about it, never ask me again when I tell you to 'just forget it', alright?"

With these words she turned around and continued to walk home – leaving him alone with his unexpressed and confused feelings.


	11. Everyone has seen it

**So, after a smaller break then usual here comes the next chapter! Working hard for you on the next ones to come :)** **Enjoy!**

 **And as always - any comment, favorite and follower is highly appreaciated - thank you all so much!**

* * *

He was about to enter his room, his hand already above the handle when the door was suddenly opened from the inside instead, nearly causing him to bump straight into Rukia. She examined him for a moment with raised eyebrows. Ichigo didn't say anything he was just staring back helplessly. Now that was giving off an uncomfortable feeling. She avoided his gaze, looking to the side, her voice somewhere between taunting arrogance and appeasing sincerity when she passed him:

"You didn't need to sleep on the couch you know that."

The atmosphere at the breakfast table was tensed, however only one person seemed to be disturbed by the silence. Isshin was eyeing his son and third daughter alertly. They didn't exchange a single word while eating and he was really getting nervous about that: "I'm going to keep staring at you two until one of you finally says something." The head of the family whined. Karin got up and left the table.

"Uhm… another coffee, otou-san?" "Yeah, thank you." Isshin held his cup out to Yuzu without taking his eyes off the pair. She left for the kitchen counter with her father's cup, feeling relieved that she had found a less obvious way to escape the scene than her sister did.

"So, you had a fight, am I right?"

They just ignored him. Well, actually only Ichigo did, Rukia was completely absent-mindedly.

"So you _did_ have a fight. Am I _right_?" Isshin repeated his question with emphasis, asking for an adequate explanation to all this.

Still no reaction. All of a sudden his earnest demeanor switched to the lonely-left-alone-father-mode who sometimes was at a complete loss about what to do with his son's hopeless behavior: "What did my son do to you, Rukia-chan?" Tears of disappointment and of worry for his beloved hopefully-still-soon-to-be-daughter-in-law were on the verge of falling. He watched her expectantly for any sign but she was still examining her plate closely without noticing him. "Rukia-chan?"

"Mmh?"

Isshin's highly alarmed voice had finally reached out to her. She looked at him questioningly, because she didn't pay any attention to what had happened for like the past ten minutes. "Come on, tell me." The father's sometimes exhausting and annoying temper was set free: "What did Ichigo do?! What did he say?!" Rukia was getting the point of Isshin's talking surprisingly quick and automatically went with her poorly developed acting skills: "Ichigo didn't do anything."

Ouch. Sadly that was the complete explanation to this.

Although she had said it using her highly pitched school girl voice Ichigo had the feeling she had clearly meant it as an accusation.

He felt a slight stab in the heart.

"Then why did he sleep on the couch?"

His father eyed him suspiciously. Rukia was searching for a suitable excuse while looking between Isshin and Ichigo. It wouldn't work like that. The teenager cleared his throat to buy himself some time before aimlessly starting with a mere: "Uhm… I…" Still no flash of inspiration that would just put the right words into his mouth. "Well…" /Damn it, think! There has to be _some_ thing to please this old goat!/ He combed through his memory for something useful, some clichés, some commonly accepted truths or conventions. He was going through every remnant of the times he used to read shôjo manga to his sisters before going to bed and finally…: "I… thought I might have caught a cold and so…" Ichigo cleared his throat again, feeling embarrassed:

"I slept on the couch because I didn't want to pass it on to her."

Rukia discreetly turned to the side.

Isshin's eyes doubled in size, filled with tears. His voice was trembling with sentiment: "H-how noble of you! This is _my_ son!"

Ichigo looked disbelievingly to the left then to the right. /Wait! He actually bought that crap?/

"Here, otou-san." Yuzu served her father the second cup of coffee. She had deliberately taken more time than usually to finish the family's lunchboxes and casually placed them on the table in front of Ichigo and Rukia before leaving for her room. The substitute shinigami took the opportunity to escape this overly strange situation: "We better get going."

* * *

They had just turned around the first corner when Rukia finally gave up on containing her laughter, nearly bursting into tears.

"What's so funny?"

Ichigo remarked rather annoyed as he had already shoved the incident earlier to one of the furthest corners in his memory. She waved her hand in front of her face as if it would help getting over her fit of laughter. A vein on his forehead popped – he felt a little humiliated here, deservedly so.

"This... was by far… the dumbest… excuse I've ever heard." Rukia was able to utter in her still amused state.

Ichigo turned away, sulking: "If _you've_ had a better excuse then you should have said so." "I honestly had no idea what to tell your father." She had calmed down a little, wiping away the tears from the corner of her eyes. He peeked at her from the side before continuing in his steps. They walked a few meters in silence.

"I can revert to sleeping in your closet if you are feeling more comfortable then." She carefully began. It was an attempt to retrieve at least a bit of normality between them.

"No, it's alright."

She stopped in her tracks: "What?"

His completely naïve remark made her stare into space – or his back more precisely – until he turned around to her.

"What?"

He frowned not really getting her further inquiry.

"Oh, I see." She crossed her arms in front of her chest triumphantly as if she had just seen through him in the blink of an eye:

"Seems someone really enjoys sharing his bed with me."

"Che, shut up."

He had turned around again a little too fast, leaving no doubt or misunderstanding that her conclusion was at least halfway true.

They were about two street crossings away from Karakura High when he deliberately grabbed her hand. Rukia flinched causing Ichigo to switch to his usual poker face, peeking down to her slightly irritated – he would never admit that he in return was a little scared by her reaction as well: "What's wrong?" He paused, turned his head to look straight on. "Get used to it." He grimaced as he became aware they had nearly reached school. "I don't want to be stared at again by everyone, ok?" Although not entirely intended so the hidden message behind his statement wasn't actually _that_ hidden.

" _Ok_?" she repeated his at first glance rhetorically sounding question.

He didn't respond so she stopped what in reverse made him stop as well as he was still holding onto her hand.

" _Ok_?" she said with more emphasis this time and a lot more demanding: "Are you implying _I_ _am_ the reason everyone in school keeps staring at us?" Her voice was calm but it was obvious he had to closely watch his wording. His ego however was getting the better of him:

"Well it was hard to miss how uncomfortably you were the last time I did that, so… It's not that I'm doing this because I like it…" The second sentence was a little less confidently sounding then he had wished it to be.

"Then _why_ do you already start holding hands like two blocks away from school?"

A few seconds passed before he could break away from her piercing gaze. "I said 'get used to it'."

"What for? It's nothing special, right?"

He shook his head internally, she did it again: Rendering an intimate matter as completely negligible. How could she do that? Everything regarding interpersonal relationships seemed to be of such small significance. He subconsciously scratched the back of his head:

"Then why are we having this conversation if it is nothing special?"

Both didn't really notice that they had already continued walking and the first nosy glances were shot at them.

Ichigo wondered why he didn't bring up their shopping tour from two days ago in their debate. _That_ day she didn't seem that uncomfortable with him holding her hand as far as he remembered – that day, when Keigo had suddenly showed up and grabbing her hand had been the most obvious choice to make an impression. So why was doing that _now_ so different from back then? _What_ was different? His thought process stopped all of a sudden when he realized that he had nearly accepted one of his self-established lies as common truth: Keigo had never been there in the first place. Although he had thought for a second he had seen him but…

"I-CHI-GOOOOOOOOO!"

His mind was still absent but his instincts kicked in just in time to punch the back of his hand right into the face of the brown haired teenager that had been occupying his thoughts only seconds ago. A pained and high pitched scream echoed in the air as Keigo floated to the ground."Nice attack." he mumbled while pressing one hand to his hurting face and giving Ichigo a thumbs-up with the other.

"You should have seen this coming, Asano-san. It's your own fault." Mizuiro took a big step to get past his company, constantly staring at his mobile phone, busy as usual. The person addressed just winced both physically and emotionally hurt: "Keigo, it's Keigo. Why do you keep calling me by my family name? Aren't we friends?" "At least I am coming to your party on Saturday." Mizuiro replied continuously typing. "Yeah, right!" With just that Keigo's melancholic demeanor vanished giving way to his overexcited, hyperactive self: "My parents are on a trip the whole weekend so I'm having a party on Saturday. You're coming, right?"

"I figure ' _you_ ' includes _me_ as well… although you're only looking at _her_." The second part came off more aggressive then Ichigo had intended.

"Of course we are coming." Rukia wore her artificial smile she only used when in her school uniform or when she expected to make any profit from it. He didn't get why it was necessary _here_.

"Oh, so I don't have a say in this?" he remarked dryly.

"Well as you just said he only looked at _me_ so I decided for _both_ of us."

Ichigo sighed a little ticked off. He wouldn't have had a choice anyway.

* * *

 _/Why can't you do anything?/_

Her unspoken thought from yesterday was still occupying his mind. Not sleeping in his bed had not really helped falling asleep last night so his own thoughts did have plenty of time to revolve around his quarrel with Rukia and _this_ particular sentence. He sighed, completely exhausted and tired while keeping his head cupped in one head to prevent it from falling onto the desk.

He let his gaze wander around the classroom. It was barely third period but he wasn't able to pay attention to anything that was going on in class allowing his thoughts to go anywhere they liked – what was far from where _he_ liked them to be.

 _/Why can't you do anything?/_

There. Again. He was too sleepy to fight it.

Nothing made sense at the moment: School, class, his situation, Rukia – especially Rukia.

 _/Why can't you do anything?/_

Damn hell, couldn't this demanding question just leave him alone?

" _Hey_ , would you do something, please!?" A dark shadow lurked over him.

"Kurosaki, I gave you a task! So stop staring at your girlfriend and get this worksheet done!"

Ochi-sensei was standing right in front of his desk, hands on her hips and visibly angered. His eyes travelled across the room to his teacher as his mind came back to reality: "What? I… I didn't _stare_." What was her point? Did he really?

"I don't care what you call it!" Her finger was pointing at the empty paper that must have been lying in front of him for about ten minutes: "The sheet! Now!" With that she left and went back to the front to observe her students. The overly tired teenager lowered his head searching for a pencil when a crumpled piece of paper hit his temple and landed on his table. He was about to turn around to check were it had come from but… if he was honest he already knew.

Ichigo unfolded the paper and tried to decode the messy handwriting:

 _'Ara? Kurosaki-kun? You were staring at me?'_

Her annoying school girl voice was audible in his head just by the way she had written her message.

Energetically all of a sudden he started scribbling an answer on the paper and was about to toss it back to its initiator when…

"And no love letter exchanging during class!"

"Th-that wasn't _mine_! _She_ did…!" Ichigo tried to defend himself while pointing at the seat neighbor to his right.

"If you don't want to stay here after class is over, pull yourself together, Kurosaki."

Resistance was too troublesome anyway… and to exhausting…

* * *

The bell had finally rung.

Ichigo however was packing his stuff in slow motion leaving him the only person still in class. Except…

"So, you _stared_ at me during class, yeah?"

He kept arranging things inside his bag: "No, I didn't."

"Everyone has seen it." She sounded amused.

"Then they all got the wrong impression."

Rukia raised an eyebrow disbelievingly: "Yeah, right. They all misunderstood." The sarcasm in her voice was hard to miss. " _Very_ likely."

"Fine."

He got up from his chair. The scenery's atmosphere reminded him of this morning when they had bumped into each other in front of his room.

"I _did_ stare." he declared before leaving for the corridor.

She watched him go, honestly surprised that he had blocked their usual bickering just like that.

When Rukia herself stepped into the corridor Ichigo was long out of sight.

 _"Hey, got a minute?"_


	12. I'll be waiting for you upstairs

"Ah, good you're back! What about a family-trip this evening? We could go to…"

"I'm not coming."

Ichigo rushed past his father - more or less ignoring him – before stomping up the stairs heavily annoyed.

"What's wrong with him?" Isshin switched to his worried-father-mode and looked at Rukia questioningly. She didn't seem responsive at all however… just the same she'd been this morning. This time her thoughts weren't occupied with Ichigo and their overly complicated situation but with the conversation she'd had with Tatsuki earlier.

* * *

 _"_ _So, you and Ichigo, huh?"_

 _They were standing next to each other in a quiet corner of the schoolyard, both resting their arms on the railing. Tatsuki was watching a group of birds pecking at the remnants of lunch boxes and other snacks. Rukia looked around without moving her head. She was honestly relieved that Ichigo's childhood friend wasn't directly looking at her – if she was she would've notices right away that something was off. They had never been close or had ever really talked to each other, so being confronted with her all of a sudden made Rukia feel considerably uncomfortable. The fact that Rukia knew where this talk was aiming at didn't make it any better… She wasn't sure if she would be able to continue pretending what wasn't real._

 _She waved Tatsuki a confirming "M-hm."_

 _"_ _Do you_ love _him?"_

 _The raven haired woman swallowed hard thinking about what to answer._

 _Why? Why did this happen to her? Why didn't one of Ichigo's stupid friends ask him this question? She sighed. Ichigo would just ignore Keigo or punch him in the face or both. That wasn't an option right now. She wouldn't pick a fight with Tatsuki… not with her, especially not if she was just worried about someone she'd been friends with for ages._

 _Before Rukia was able to formulate any answer the girl next to her sighed deeply: "I see."_

 _Every possible alarm bell began to ring in Rukia's head: "Wh… no… It's just…" The Shinigami tried to explain, her hands wildly gesturing in search for the right words. Tatsuki turned to face her: "It's just_ what _?"_

 _It had obviously been a rhetoric question because she just went on without waiting for Rukia's response: "Listen, actually it's none of my business what's going on between Ichigo and you. But I know that no person ever was able to gain Ichigo's trust as fast and deep as you did. Not many get the privilege to see his true self, to take a look at his heart. I have no idea what exactly you are to him and honestly speaking I don't care what relationship you two are in but… if you are only playing with him and if you leave him alone, disappear, or abandon him as a friend…" She made a serious face. …"or as whatever…" Tatsuki cut the air in half with her fist:_ _"…you'll get into trouble with me."_

 _Rukia just nodded silently, completely clueless what to respond._

 _"_ _He is more vulnerable than you think he is."_

 _With that said the karate ace left._

 _That was not the quite the way Rukia had imagined things to proceed with their fake relationship. What did she think? Did she think everything would get easier with time? Did she really think that everything would be easier if the ongoing rumors about her and Ichigo were finally confirmed? Why was nobody satisfied?_

* * *

"What else do you want?!"

Isshin looked at her confused: "I just wanted to know what's wrong with my son…" He looked as if he had decreased in size a few inches. Now it was Rukia's turn to look confused.

"Oh… I… I'm sorry… I was…"

Was there any possibility left for her to formulate a useful sentence today? She hated herself for always taking things to heart that easily recently. It wasn't _her_ fault they had ended up in this situation after all. If _he_ hadn't been motivated by his friends… if _he_ had just explained everything to them… if _he_ would take all of this a little more serious… if _he_ wasn't such a sissy… if _he_ would just admit that…

She didn't notice that her eyes were filling with tears and how they were getting the better of her with every further thought. She didn't allow herself to lose control until Isshin put his arms around her.

* * *

 _/Why can't you do anything?/_

Ichigo staggered to his bed, his eyes staring at his desk. Maybe he could smash his head with a book to get rid of this sentence. He tried to concentrate on his steps but it wasn't that easy to walk straight in his state - he felt as if being aboard a ship. He tottered to the left before his foot collided with something causing him to fall onto the sheets headfirst his legs half in half out of bed. It was over. The idea with the book had to wait.

A familiar smell woke him from his comatose like sleep. He blinked – his olfactory sense more awake than the rest of him. What time was it? Ichigo reluctantly peeled out of his sheets, getting up in exactly the same way he'd stumbled into them. He wasn't conscious enough to maintain his balance but managed to come to a sitting position on his bed somehow before falling to the floor. His alarm clock told him it was 8.33 pm already. It was strikingly quite. Why hadn't his father already kicked him out of bed with his: 'nobody in this house is late for dinner _ever_ '-shit?

Strange.

He shuffled down the stairs following the tempting scent. The corridor was dark, only a small light was coming from the kitchen and living room. Ichigo alertly peeked into the room prepared for any sudden attack that might come from his father.

"Oh, so you're finally awake."

His eyes wandered to the kitchen counter where he noticed Rukia putting some spices into a pot.

"Uhm… Rukia? What are you doing there?"

"I'm making a curry. Yuzu gave me the recipe." She didn't take her eyes off the stove for a second.

"Ah, I see." He nodded insightfully. "That explains the smell." A moment passed until his brain had processed the situation: "Wait! You can cook!?" He was slightly panicking.

Rukia turned around with raised eyebrows: "How do you think I survived before I was adopted by Nii-sama? I can handle myself, you know."

Again he just nodded: "Yeah… yeah I guess you're right… What the hell is _this_?!"

Ichigo accusingly pointed at the dinner table where a handful of candles and a bouquet of red roses were suspiciously showily decorated. The dark haired woman passed him to place two bowls of curry opposite each other: "Oh, you mean that? Your father did that." She turned to face him: "Actually he wanted to take us all to the cinema tonight but as you harshly refused, he and the twins went alone so we both can spend some quality time together. So… as you can see, _this_ … is a candlelight dinner… to _begin_ with." The way she'd added this 'to _begin_ with' made a little shiver run down his spine.

Had that just been by any chance an attempt to flirt with him? No. No that was… unlikely… It was Rukia they were talking about, right? As he was thinking about what exactly she'd meant by that he started to feel a little uneasy. He wasn't too sure if he really wanted to know… right? A rather helpless voice inside him wanted to speak up.

"Will you take a seat or are you planning to stare into space with that dumb look on your face for the rest of the day?"

Ichigo shook his head, puzzled. Whatever the reason was, he wouldn't reject some homemade curry so he sat down opposite her. It looked surprisingly good he had to admit and he was sure it was way safer to eat _that_ than any dish any other of his female friends would have prepared. However, he couldn't remember he had ever felt this awkward in Rukia's presence. So, for only a tiny little second he wished his father would show up out of nowhere to crash the moment – but this time nobody was about to help him out, he was completely on his own here…

Hesitatingly he picked up the spoon to try his favorite dish, taking in the soothing smell.

"Seems you were right."

Ichigo wore his usual poker face so it wouldn't be too obvious how much he actually liked it: "You _can_ cook." He knew for sure that this plain acknowledgement would drive her crazy. Rukia looked up from her bowl, directly into his eyes, ready to fight him: "I told you so." The biting tone in her voice only confirmed that she really didn't like being underestimated.

"Being _able_ to cook doesn't equal being _good_ at it." Ichigo retorted. It was his way of hiding a compliment behind feigned disinterest and smart-ass behavior. Rukia however wasn't fooled by his act, so instead of pretending to buy his in-your-face-compliment she just outright verbalized the hidden subtext: "So you like it." It was a conclusion, not a question.

"Seems you used a little more coriander than Yuzu usually tends to put in."

His dry remark left her a bit confused: "So… is that a bad thing or a good thing?"

"I like coriander." was his only answer, as he continued to eat.

For a few minutes their candlelight dinner was soaked with silence. Ichigo wouldn't have been able to come up with a topic at the moment anyway. Their situation was far from ok. First their fight yesterday about what they both knew or didn't know but were unwilling to admit to. Second that she was blaming _him_ for not being proactive. The sentence that had been haunting him the whole day came back to his mind. The sentence that was responsible for his sleep-deprived self, sitting in class today and not being able to concentrate on a single thing. Hell, he had slept on the couch because of that. If things were progressing like that people would find out that they were just pretending to be in a relationship. He thought about Byakuya, who would probably kill him for real this time…

"I thought about this a lot today." Rukia suddenly broke the silence.

He looked up, frowning. That could practically mean anything.

"About us." she continued. "We can't go on like that."

Although she didn't look at him directly he could see the apathetic expression on her face.

"You know… I'm not sure if we can tell the difference between who we _pretend_ to be in front of everyone else and who we _really are_ , anymore."

She placed a hand on the table facing him with a serious look. Her gaze was piercing through him.

"This is breaking us apart, Ichigo."

When he didn't react to that at all, the seriousness in her eyes changed to something else.

"Do you get what I'm saying?"

The emphasis in her voice confirmed what he had subconsciously already sensed – she was hurt. She was _deeply_ hurt and he was at a loss how to cope with that.

Silence ensued again.

A derisive sigh brought him back to reality and stopped his thoughts from desperately searching for an answer that wouldn't make everything worse.

"And yet again you're doing nothing." She raised from her chair but remained at the table.

"Do you even care?"

Ichigo still didn't feel capable to do or say anything at all. If she'd add something like 'Just forget it' that would be the last straw. The situation reminded him too much of yesterday's quarrel.

 _'_ _If you cannot say or do anything about it, never ask me again when I tell you to 'just forget it', alright?'_

Her eyes were still set on him, expectantly – no full of hope. It seemed to be the last bit of hope she had left for him. As he didn't meet her expectations however she took the dishes and left for the kitchen counter without a word.

Only the clattering of the dishes in the sink could be heard. It was pretty loud actually – of course she did that on purpose. He held his breath only to let it all out at once, exhaling deeply. It was an attempt to calm himself down. Ichigo got up from his seat and stepped to her side, his back leaning against the counter:

"I am sorry, ok?" He stared outside the window at the opposite of the room.

The clattering came to a halt.

"I can't… I can't do anything at the moment."

She turned her head, her expression gave away that she was far from content with his answer.

"And why not?" she retorted reproachfully.

He turned to face her, his voice coming out a little more quick-tempered than intended: "Maybe it's because I have no idea to whom I am actually talking most of the time? It feels as if I don't know who you are anymore. How the hell should I know if I am talking to the _real_ you or to the person who's only valid argument left is: We are in a relationship now, so we're doing it _that_ way."

Her lower jaw trembled. He wasn't prepared for the look on her face when she finally looked him in the eyes:"Ever figured that there might be no difference?"

That was the moment he realized what Ishida had meant by saying, he should pay more attention to her feelings. _You're a complete idiot_ , a voice in his head told him.

She averted her gaze and left for the corridor.

 _If you're going to leave it at that you will lose her forever,_ another voice said.

 _Damn it!_

"Rukia, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

He was able to catch up to her before she reached the door where she flipped around to him: "Oh, then how _did_ you mean it?!" Anger had washed away the vulnerability.

"I… uhm… I didn't want to…"

He tumbled backwards but was able to break his fall at the edge of the sofa. What the…? The next moment he found himself in a rather delicate situation: Rukia on top of him, her hand almost aggressively pressing him against the back of the couch, her face dangerously close to his own.

"If _you_ cannot do anything, _I'll_ take the lead."

He felt her warm breath brush against his lips. Barely able to move, he managed to raise a hand to push her away only a few inches: "W-wait a sec…", he didn't get any further. "Be honest…" she closed the distance between them again: "…doesn't this turn you on even a little bit?" The tip of her nose gently caressed his cheek. He tried to regain control over his pulse with difficulty. "No… I… that… it's not…" he uttered not being able to raise his voice to more than a whisper. She pulled away and gave herself some room to examine his features. Her eyes travelled down his body: "Doesn't look like it." she waved him a suggestive look, locking eyes with him. He felt as if his heart just skipped a beat. That wasn't quite the way he'd imagined things to proceed but… She leaned against him slowly. He wouldn't stop her a second time… _couldn't._ Their lips touched surprisingly cautious, but only until Ichigo decided within a split second to toss any doubts overboard together with his seemingly well-established image and ego. Why didn't they try this earlier?

"We are baaaaa-haaack!"

An overly happy and hyped voice echoed through the house. The front door snapped shut.

 _Shit._

Normally one would have expected the mood to be crashed with that, but…

She breathed into his ear: "I'll be waiting for you upstairs." He could hear a suppressed smile in her voice. "If you really want to know what I'm wearing under my pajamas."

Rukia left him alone on the couch, disappearing into the corridor. Only seconds later Isshin's head popped into the living room: "Is everything alright?"

Ichigo hastily grabbed a pillow: "Yeah! Yeah, everything's… good."

* * *

 _PLONK._

He had fallen out of his bed. The position he had landed in was far from comfortable. His face felt as flat as a pancake after it had made direct contact with the cold floor. What the hell? What was going on?

Ichigo looked around as far as that was possible from his perspective. He was definitely in his room, alone. At least that was what he thought until his memory came back. He jumped to his feet to verify he _really_ was _alone_.

His bed was empty, so much for that. His eyes wandered to his alarm clock: 8.33 pm. He nodded absent-mindedly.

 _Wait._

He narrowed his eyes: 8.03 pm.

"Alright, so it was a dream." he mumbled to himself but then a suspicious smell caught his attention. That seemed familiar…


	13. If you are able to tell the difference

Ichigo stumbled down the stairs, rubbing his eyes so they won't play another trick on him. Just like in his dream – what it obviously had been – it was suspiciously quiet in the house.

"Finally awake, are we?"

Rukia had just noticed Ichigo's attempt to sneak into the living room, trying to be invisible, while she was placing something on the dinner table. He froze when his eyes detected what else had been draped on the table: A chandelier and a single red rose – giving off an unambiguous romantic vibe.

"Wh-what is _that_?" He pointed at the requisites that had already felt out of place in his bizarre dream, the rest of his body still remaining completely static.

Rukia's eyes wandered to the table then back to him. She shook her head: "Don't ask. Your father did that. He wanted to…"

"Are they _here?!_ " he interrupted her, starting to panic. _/Don't tell me they went to…/_ his mind began to get weird ideas until Rukia tried again, slightly ticked off: "He wanted to…" she emphasized in order to not be cut off by him a second time "…give us some time alone, so he went out to eat with Yuzu and Karin. You know, so we both can spend a nice evening…" She formed quotation marks with her fingers: "…as a couple."

"You mean we are _alone_? With this _candlelight dinner_ my _father_ arranged?"

His voice sounded a little hysterical causing Rukia to frown in suspicion: "Are you suddenly afraid to be alone with me, or what is wrong?"

"No! Not at all!" he exclaimed in an unusual high pitch. She was still looking at him as if he'd completely lost his mind. Rolling her eyes she turned around: "You wanna eat something? We have curry."

"Did _you_ make that?" Ichigo cautiously uttered.

"Don't worry, Yuzu made it before they left." Her tone was freezing. And there he was – he had made the same blunder all over again…

"N-Not that _you_ couldn't have done that _as well_ … I think… so…" he mumbled trying to make up for his unintentional insult.

The venomous smile on her face widened as she demonstratively put some curry into a bowl: "You sure you want to continue your speech? I might do something stupid." Her head nodded towards the bowl. He swallowed.

What was going on here? Was this by any possibility a dream as well and he would fall out of his bed any minute?

"What's wrong? Will you take a seat or are you planning to stare into space with that dumb look on your face for the rest of the day?"

He was abruptly pulled back to reality and noticed Rukia was already sitting at the table waiting for him with the… candlelight dinner. He sighed internally. Just like in his dream it was uncomfortably silent. He blamed his thoughts to some extent, as they were still busy with what she'd said at their fictive dinner:

 _I'm not sure if we can tell the difference between who we_ pretend _to be in front of everyone else and who we_ really are _, anymore._

Before things would proceed the same way they had in his dream, _this time_ in turn he raised his voice first: "About yesterday…" He waited for any reaction.

She looked up from her plate, waiting for him to continue: "Yeah?" Her expression signalized him to get to the point.

"I thought about this a lot today." Ichigo just borrowed her sentence from his imagination.

She sighed: "I don't want to talk about it. I told you to forget it."

"I know, but we can't go on like that. Nobody is…" he pointed at the candles and the rose "… _buying this_."

"Oh, and now you want to tell me it's _my_ fault." She retorted teeth grinding.

"Wha- No, I…" That was definitely going into the wrong direction. He was put off his stride somehow.

"That's not what I wanted to say. But it would've helped if you'd spared me your _'Why can't you do anything?'_ This sentence has been haunting me since yesterday. Do you have any idea how that feels? I barely slept, I couldn't pay attention in class and…" He wanted to go on but refrained from mentioning anything from his weird dream. She didn't need to know – it would only cause her to pose more questions.

"If I had spared you _what?_ " Rukia looked at him uncomprehendingly. What the hell was he talking about?

Ichigo leaned forward repeating her words – a little too dramatic he had to admit: "Why can't you do anything?" He placed his hands in front of him as if literally putting his cards on the table: "That's what you said, didn't you? _That's_ what you want to know by all means, right? And _that's_ the reason why _this_ isn't working."

She stared at him in bewilderment: "I never said something like that. What's wrong with you?"

"But you _wanted_ to say it." He retorted emphatically, rendering her argument invalid. "In the end _I am_ the one who's not trying enough. _I am_ the one whose amateurish acting skills are to be blamed if something isn't convincing enough. _I am_ the one who is supposed to take our relationship to the next level. That's what you meant, didn't you?"

"If you really knew me you'd know that this is not what I was trying to tell you."

She raised from her chair, visibly hurt by his words and frustrated because he was such a wimpy idiot who was hiding behind his stupid ego.

 _Shit._

He'd just talked himself into a rage again.

Ichigo heard how she started to do the dishes.

 _'Is this what you wanted?'_ a voice in his head asked. _Of course not._

He watched her from the dinner table. He had actually hoped things would be getting easier if they talked about yesterday, but seemingly talking wasn't quite the option at the moment. The outcome of his dream came back to his mind… It was the reason why he was hesitating to go over to her. Although… _that_ wasn't seriously going to repeat itself, would it? It was Rukia they were talking about… However he had to admit that a lot of things had happened alarmingly similar to his dream. Ichigo shook his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts. Just in time, because Rukia had nearly sneaked past him without any further notice.

"Rukia, wait." He managed to grab her wrist: "I don't want to leave it at that."

She flipped around, freeing her arm: "Oh really?! You seemed pretty serious about what you were saying!"

"I know… I am sorry, ok? Just… please tell me what you expect me to do." That was honestly everything he wanted to know at the moment.

"Then how about you stopped deceiving yourself?" she rhetorically asked after a few seconds had passed. Accusation resounded in her voice: "Stop lying to yourself."

"Ok… so I'll try to be more considerate towards our relationship?"

He hoped that was what she wanted him to say.

"Which one?" She smiled cynically.

His eyes wandered from left to right: "Uhm… both?"

"Alright."

That was her only answer. The subtext of _'Well, have it your way then.'_ however wasn't quite what he had aimed for. She didn't seem too convinced this would work out. Or maybe she just didn't think he was capable to do that.

"Alright." he emphasized his answer to show her that he indeed meant what he had said. Somehow he was reminded of their contract – when they had discussed she'd be breaking up with him in about two weeks.

"If you are still able to tell the difference." Rukia added before disappearing into the corridor.

"We are baaaaa-haaack!"

Isshin's sing-song voice echoed through the house.

At least he wasn't in an embarrassing situation – as he'd been in his dream…


	14. It never hurts

"So, today we're going to start a new topic."

Again the lessons went on without him really paying attention. Sadly it went on way too slow to his liking. However, as long as he was in class and was supposed to listen there was absolutely no reason to deal with the girl sitting to his right. Yesterday evening had ended not quite positive for them and his will to keep up this whole charade began to crumble even further with each passing day.

 _"Rukia-chan has already left. But I guess you know that."_

His father's voice from this morning echoed in his head.

No, he didn't know, he mumbled to himself deep in thought. And he still didn't know _why_ she had left for school that early, without him.

Renji probably knew what was going on, because he had spotted him talking to Rukia near the school gates this morning.

 _"Bear in mind, Ichigo... Rukia and I have shared a lot more than you might think."_

He remembered the redhead's words. What the hell did he mean by that? What was going on? Maybe they had been...?

It was no secret that the vice-captain had feelings for his childhood friend. They knew each other since they were young. He couldn't catch up to that.

"Which author has written a lot of sonnets throughout his career, again?"

The word 'sonnet' had drawn his attention.

Ochi-sensei strolled through the rows and then stopped in front of Keigo all of a sudden, bending down a little: "Asano!"

Ichigo's friend nearly jumped upon hearing his name being called out and was desperately searching his memory for the right answer: "Uhm… Shin…? Ake…? Yamada? I.. I know it, I swear!"

"Shakespeare. It's Shakespeare."

Ochi-sensei raised an eyebrow slightly amused. She grinned mischievously, turning around to Ichigo: "Oh, seems we have an expert here!" As his teacher's steps neared his table, he turned his head from the windows to the classroom. Oh, damn! Did he say that out aloud?

She stopped in front of him: "As we are obviously quite familiar with the matter, I'm sure we wouldn't mind reading one of the sonnets to the class, right Kurosaki?" The small booklet landed on his table.

"Whatever."

He didn't have a choice anyway so he fetched the booklet and stood up from his chair.

"Number 115, please."

Ichigo opened the page at said sonnet and started reading.

"Those lines that I before have writ do lie, even those that said…"

"Stop right there!" Ochi-sensei interrupted. "This is about deep emotions, got that? Again! And put a little more consideration into the words you're reading, _feel_ them!"

He breathed out with a sigh that was clearly audible for everyone in class: "…even those that said I could not…"

"From the start!"

An annoyed grunt left his throat.

"If we're having that much trouble taking this serious, how about reading it out to our girlfriend?" His teacher pointed to Rukia with her head. "Turn around, Kurosaki!"

Ichigo bit his lip, turned to Rukia grudgingly. His facial muscles twitched.

"This text is about love, does that ring a bell? So go for it, perform, tell her." Ochi-sensei pointed at Rukia one last time before leaving his visual field.

Ichigo glanced at Rukia for a second – she didn't look at him.

He turned to the book, trying to concentrate on the lines before taking a deep breath:

"Those lines – that I _before_ have writ – do _lie_."

He suddenly hesitated.

 _Shit._

His voice was slightly shaking. Damn, he couldn't lose it in _this_ situation, not _here_ , not _now_ … Ichigo's eyes trailed off to the floor, nothing would help him, he couldn't just run away. He cleared his throat, hoping to regain control of his voice: It was just a text, just words that had been written hundreds of years ago that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

"Even _those_ – that said – I could not love you dearer…

…yet then – my judgment knew no reason why…"

 _This has got nothing to do with me._

"…my most full flame – should afterwards burn clearer.

But reckoning _Time_ , whose… million'd accidents…

Creep in 'twixt vows and – change decrees of kings…"

 _Just words._

"Tan sacred beauty – blunt the sharp'st intents,

Divert strong minds to th' course of altering things…

Alas – _why_ – fearing of Time's tyranny,

Might I not then say…"

He sighed.

" _Now…_ "

He raised his head, looking directly at her. This time she returned his look.

" _Now…_ I love you best."

'I'm sorry.' He wanted to say, but then went back to the words that should just have been words.

"When I was _certain_ – o'er _incertainty_

Crowning the present – _doubting_ … of the _rest?_

Love is a babe then – might I not say so

To give full growth to _that_ – which still… doth _grow._ "

Ichigo snapped the book shut, placed it on the table and took his seat without looking at anyone.

* * *

"That was really sweet."

He noticed from the corner of his eye how she situated herself on the edge of his table slightly bending down to him. Ichigo peeked up to her cautiously: ' _That…_ is not _funny._ ' he already heard himself retorting to her, but then he remembered that _this_ was in the end part of the plan they had discussed yesterday when he had promised to be more considerate.

" _That…_ wasn't _sweet_ ", he began, mirroring the challenging look Rukia's face was wearing. " _That…_ was _real."_

She flinched. Who would have thought that _he_ was finally the one leaving _her_ flustered and not the other way round, as it usually happened. A victorious smile formed inside of him. Rukia's mouth was still trying to formulate a response, her eyes helplessly searching his for an answer.

She must be feeling the same _he_ always did.

"W-what was real?" The question finally left her lips.

Insecurity. That was so unlike her.

The inner smile rose to his face: "Every…" He meaningfully raised an eyebrow. "Single…" His voice was nearly a whisper only she could hear: "Word."

His confident look remained on her. Rukia was still staring at him, baffled, shy. _This time_ she wouldn't be the one to have the last word.

"Then…" she began unusually quiet and reserved. "…that was _anything_ but sweet."

 _Yes, that's it._

It caught him completely unprepared when she suddenly bent down even further to him so that he could nearly feel her breath on his skin. There was no trace left of any insecurity.

"Then…"

He tried to withstand her intensive glare.

"…that was pretty hot."

A winning smile, a superior glint in her eyes and then… she was gone.

 _Damn it._

* * *

"You _waited_ for me?"

He raised an eyebrow doubtfully, as if she didn't really stand in front of him at the school gates.

"Do I have a _choice?"_ Her cynical remark hit him in the gut. "People will start talking if I don't."

"In the _morning_ you _didn't_ wait for me."

Her eyes narrowed to slits: "So what?"

"I've seen you. You and Renji."

Rukia turned to walk home: "Oh, so you're jealous now, or what?" Why was there this sudden disinterest in her voice?

"What did you two talk about?"

"Us." was her numb answer.

He looked at her questioningly and maybe a little worried: "About us _us_ or us _you_?"

"Both." Her cold voice seeped through his heart.

He wouldn't leave it at that now. Everything was complicated enough already, there was no need for a stupid redhead to make it worse.

"What is going on between Renji and you?"

Rukia flipped around to him, obviously sour: "I don't know why you dare imply that, but as you and I are not _really_ in a relationship I can do whatever I _like_!"

"Why don't just shout a little _louder?!_ I don't think everyone was able to _hear_ you!"

"Everyone except _us_ has left! So stop making a drama out of this again, if you don't want to _hear_ that!" she hissed in response to his inappropriate remark.

"I see, something's _going_ on between you…" was Ichigo's inevitable conclusion to her outburst.

Her expression was cold: "I'm going to break up with you in two weeks anyway, so why do you care?"

Ichigo theatrically placed a hand on his chest, acting a little over the top: "Wow, if we were _really_ in a relationship I would be deeply hurt now."

A despicable laugh escaped her throat: "Well, you know… that's the good thing about it." She stepped closer and looked at him with a severity that made him flinch: "If you're not _really_ in a relationship it doesn't matter what you say… it never hurts. Not. A single. Word."

And then she did what she was best at recently, leaving him standing there, alone.

He sighed and wished she was right.


	15. That is so like you

**So everyone, here comes a rather short, but important chapter. I really feel that this is what Renji would be doing for Rukia, _because_ he loves her... and I think it's said that you're kind of made to dislike him with Bleach's final chapter... **

**Anyway, here we go.**

* * *

Her phone's ringtone shook Rukia out of her sleep thirty minutes too early. She flipped to the other side, mumbling annoyed still half delirious and fetched for the phone. The display's light was blinding her even more in this dark closet. Whoever dared to wake her… Rukia narrowed her eyes to decipher the message she had just got: He couldn't be serious! Her anger would have to wait for now to her distaste, but she couldn't make too much noise, otherwise her… She paused in her thoughts. Her… _what_? _Roommate? Friend? A_ friend? The damn idiot she was pretending to be in a relationship with?

Roommate. She nodded internally, as if she had just convinced herself of that label.

Roommate would do.

* * *

"Are you completely insane dragging me out of bed in the morning?!"

"But I did write it was urgent…"

Renji looked to the floor a little shamefaced. His voice had gradually gotten quieter after he had seen the expression on her face that reminded him so much of his captain.

"Stop your _mumbling_ , I can't understand a single word!"

The vice-captain felt some sweat drops running down his neck. He should have known better…

"And why do we have to meet exactly _here_ of all places?" Rukia nodded to the school gates of Karakura High.

"Well… I…" Renji started, slowly regaining the courage to look up to her again. "I know who told Kuchiki-Taichou about your relationship with Ichigo." A mixture of proudness and hope showed on his face. Maybe that information would calm her down a little. But his favored reaction for her didn't come.

"I already know that." She retorted dryly and in the coldest Kuchiki-manner.

"Uh, what? How?" The redhead felt bamboozled.

" _He_ told me yesterday."

"Oh, uhm… well, then it's all good I guess." Renji tried to take the appeasing path and scratched his head rather embarrassed.

" _Nothing's_ good! He _knows_!" He saw how she clenched her fists. "Knows _what?_ " he pressed for the details. "He knows we're not really together."

It felt as if she had just punched him in the gut, the way she had said that.

Her voice sounded so… resigning, desperate, that he wondered what she might be really going through at the moment. Whatever was happening between her and Ichigo right now, he was sure she didn't deserve to be wearing such an expression on her face.

"So, is he going to expose you two?"

"No, he'll hold his tongue."

She looked at the pavement, tossing something away with her foot.

Renji couldn't hide the surprise on his face: "What? Why would he do that?"

He heard a sigh come from her: "Because he…" Her head went up. "Because he wished it was real." It dawned on him: "So he has arranged all of this to finally get you two together?" "Something like that, I guess." "No wonder. I mean _everyone_ knows you two have feelings for each other." Renji blurted out so self-evidently it hurt her.

"And what if everyone is wrong?"

The redhead suddenly had a lump in his throat when he looked into her eyes. He couldn't remember ever seeing her that vulnerable before.

"What if there are no feelings?"

He wanted to interrupt her, but she continued without a pause.

"We barely know each other. How can everyone be so sure about that? We're not living in one of those romantic comedies, we're living in too completely different worlds. And the more time we spend together, the more we drift apart. Do you really think we have feelings for each other only because it looks like that to everyone?"

"I think you are scared."

"What?" Her voice was somewhere between consternation and amusement for Renji's absurd theory.

"That's the reason you are drifting apart, because you're both scared." A knowing snort left his nose. "That is so like you. You're overthinking. All you ever do is think about who _you_ are and who _he_ is." Rukia didn't like where he was aiming at all. She felt exposed, as if he was invading her soul.

"You're a shinigami and he is a human, so what? You want to make sure that he is sure as death… sorry for the pun…" He shook his head, then went on: "…that he is sure what it means getting involved with someone like you, what it means to be in a relationship with someone like you. You, who lives in a completely different world, you, who will most likely live way longer than him and you, who will probably only be able to spend a really small amount of your time here in Karakura with him. Do you even know how much you are asking from him? I know you are only doing this to protect him, because this is what you're always doing. You are always thinking of everyone else first before you're thinking of yourself. You always want to settle things on your own."

 _'_ _He always wants to settle things on his own.'_

Didn't Isshin-san say exactly that about Ichigo a few days ago? Were they really that alike?

"Do you want to wait for all eternity until you know he really is _that_ certain or are you able to stop overthinking and just take it as it is now? Hell, you're both young! Well… _he_ is young and you are… relatively young as well for a shinigami, so…"

He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Damn, just kiss, make out, have fun, ok?!"

* * *

Rukia slowed down when she remembered her conversation with Renji this morning. It had sounded so easy. But at the moment everything was getting out of hand between Ichigo and her.

 _'If you're not_ really _in a relationship it doesn't matter what you say… it never hurts. Not. A single. Word.'_

That was what she'd just said to Ichigo. She sighed and wished she was right.


	16. That One Thing

_**Hey guys, it has been a very long (too long) time - I know. Sorry for keeping you wait! I really appreciate everyone's support and love for the story! So here we finally go - chapter 16.**_

* * *

His lips travelled over her cheek. She was enjoying his touch a little too much, she thought to herself when he reached her neck. For a second she felt unable to breath. He mumbled something into her skin, but she couldn't comprehend.

"Don't." she whispered, barely audible.

He continued without hesitation.

Her hand was clinging to the fabric of his shirt. That just wasn't right. Her lips were slightly shaking as a single tear ran down her cheek. Although their closeness was too good to be true she felt a stinging pain in her heart every time he was touching her.

"Why are you doing that?"

She wasn't strong enough to push him away. She wanted him and she didn't – at the same time. His lips gently brushed hers and she sensed a cocky smile appearing on his face: "Having fun. That's what Renji said, didn't he?"

* * *

Rukia woke up in her closet, startled, confused. Staring into the darkness she was trying to regain her breath and calm down her pulse. She despised herself for having such… fantasies, as if those feelings didn't belong to her. It was hard to admit that even something like that was actually a part of her. Cautiously she slid open the closet door only a little bit, just to be sure he was still asleep. She caught her eyes lingering on him for a moment – the same way they'd always done back then, when…

 _No! Stop that!_

Rukia closed the door, preventing her thoughts from going any further, deeper. They couldn't go on like that. It had just been one week since he'd gotten them into this mess. Only one week that had caused her to question everything that had ever happen or not happened between her and Ichigo. The whole evening they hadn't exchanged a single word, not after she'd left him standing alone earlier, with those words, those lies.

 _'Is everything alright with you two?'_ Yuzu's voice echoed in her head.

She couldn't stand those questioning anymore, those looks.

 _'Yeah, everything's good.'_ She heard her voice reply time and time again.

 _'You're such a hypocrite.'_ Her inner voice would say.

Two more weeks? A despicable laugh escaped her throat. This wouldn't work another two weeks. She had to end it, soon, before there was nothing left to save.

Sure, she could have already done that. Maybe she should've already done it, but… thinking of leaving Karakura once and for all, saying goodbye to everyone here, forever, was simply unbearable. Even back then, when she'd stayed in this city for the very first time she'd felt something she'd never felt in her own world – home. Although it had only been two or three months, everything in Karakura had grown to her in a way she'd never expected. Even back then leaving had been incredibly hard. Being taken away had been incredibly hard. It was terrifying how much she felt at home here.

This world was filled with all the things she never had or could never have: a family, a shelter, a normal daily routine, the certainty of going to school or work the next day, meeting friends and colleagues, getting up in the morning without worrying about how to survive, without people that only ever fought for themselves, a world were a single life was worth something. She really was jealous that humans were able to experience what you could call 'peace'. For her it had always solely been about surviving, about fighting, about continuing, going on. In Soul Society she'd never felt able to just be, to just exist. In the world of the living she could go anywhere she wanted, could live the way she decided.

She was proud being a shinigami, proud protecting people, there was no questioning that. But sometimes… sometimes she wondered if that was all. Karakura had become a place of retreat, an escape and just thinking she'd have to give that up only because…

She rested her head against the wall. She didn't want to leave and as much as she wanted to just hate this damn idiot at the moment – she couldn't.

 _Love, companionship and friendship – it's nothing but trouble. All shinigami shouldn't have these unnecessary feelings._

At that point of time it had already been too late. If you'd ever had felt a certain emotion it was nearly impossible to get rid of it anymore. She'd already been afraid of that way back then. You couldn't just pretend that feeling had never been there – and the longer you had it the harder it'll get.

She put her arms around her legs, burying her face. She didn't know what to do. Leaving wasn't an option, staying wasn't an option. She didn't want to talk to him, she was too afraid to make everything worse. Renji was right – stupid idiot. Whatever she did, even doing nothing – it seemed as if she couldn't change anything. There was one thing, that one thing she wasn't able to do. That one thing she'd never do, because she didn't have the right to decide for him – just like Renji had said.

 _I don't have a method of stepping into the depths of your heart without it getting dirty. So I'll wait. When you want to talk, when you think it's ok to talk, talk to me._

She remembered what she'd said to him a long time ago. A sad smile formed on her lips. It was ironic how fitting those words were in a completely different context more than two years later.

* * *

He didn't know how long he'd been staring into the dark. It felt like ages – being trapped in this state between momentarily falling asleep and being wide awake. Did he even really sleep already? His mind wasn't able to let go, to calm down. He heard the closet door being slid open. Not the slightest sound followed after. He frowned, all his senses suddenly focused. He had even held his breath for a moment, but as hard as he concentrated, he didn't hear anything. It was completely quite.

The door was being closed again.

He turned around to face the closet were she'd been living since day one. He caught his eyes lingering there for a moment – the same way they'd done when he'd lost his powers and she'd disappeared from his life.

Sure, he knew she could easily disappear again any moment – whenever she wanted. And if things continued like this, she _would_ sooner or later… and this time she probably wouldn't come back.

He didn't know what to do. He felt as if he couldn't change anything. Doing nothing wasn't an option. But he wasn't actually able to _do_ anything either. Except one thing, one thing that would either save them or break them apart forever. He didn't feel ready, prepared in any way. It wasn't the right timing, the right moment – not yet, not under these circumstances and foremost not as a means to an end. She deserved so much better, damn it. He wished he could just undo the past week. Hell, what an overly stupid idea, pretending to have feelings for someone you secretly really had those feelings for. It had been doomed to failure from the beginning. He had to end it, soon, before there was nothing left to save.


End file.
